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Positively Positive: You Don't Get to be Happy and Confident by Hiding Your Light


I trusted nobody by the time I was eight. I wasn’t aware I didn’t trust anyone, but it governed everything about my life. The physical hiding very quickly become emotional hiding well before I became a teenager. As I went through my twenties and thirties I just kept re-enforcing it. The less I trusted the world not to hurt me, the more it did. And the more I hurt, the more I hid.

I was desperately lonely. I couldn’t make close friends because I was constantly thinking nobody cared about me. Of course, it was my own behaviour that kept everybody at bay. It was all my own doing, running on a subconscious loop of self-sabotage.

I thought I was desperate to be liked, but actually, I had a far greater need to be left alone. On the surface I was happy and cheerful, but deep down my subconscious was ensuring my need to be left alone was reflected in my hiding my light every chance I had.


In other news, will post my pics from the Women's March later today.

-TG

Date: 2017-01-23 12:22 am (UTC)
inkblitz: (Default)
From: [personal profile] inkblitz
This speaks to me in ways that I really didn't expect and I'm not sure if I can put into words properly right now.

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