the_gneech: (Default) and its sister site, BringingTheAwesome, are both getting a major overhaul! I’m working with Braid Creative to create a new “brand identity” to finally integrate my writing, coaching, editorial, and creative efforts under one unified whole (and a whole new website).

This is something that’s been a long time coming. I’ve been on the web since before it was “the web,” and so I have 25+ years of identities in silos all over the place. It’s time to just be the one “Me!” Writer, life coach, creative artist, giant nerd. They’re all in there. 😉

Stay tuned for progress reports as warranted!

the_gneech: (Default)
My best self.

As I write this, I’m sitting at the drawing table pictured, wearing the headphones and necklace pictured. The rest is a bit harder to pull off. >.>

So! How was 2018? On the grand social scale, of course, it was a dumpster fire. This is hardly news. All the worst people, frantically trying to destroy not just the USA but the whole world, before it all comes crashing down and they end up shooting themselves in the bunker. It’s as inevitable as it is sad. But those of us who are working to build something better will keep working.

On my own personal front, by comparison, it’s been what you might call a challenging year– not in a drama and angsty way, but in the form of taking on difficult obstacles and working to overcome them. This came mostly through the coach training, which was a deep dive into 49 years of mud and gunk that needed cleaning out, but was also singularly more effective than decades of counseling had been on that front. (Which is not to bag on my counselors over the years, but they just didn’t have the intensive focus of the coach training.)

So, looking back on my plans for the year, how did I do?

  1. Gneech, Life Coach. This is up and running! I have passed my exams with Accomplishment Coaching and I’m about 2/3 of the way to my first ICF certification. Right now I’m working on fluffing up my client base a bit more, and I expect to go on to become a Mentor Coach for next year’s program. I’ve got a coaching blog up and running, and I’m looking forward to big things on this front in 2019.

  2. Help Laurie Get Her Business Running. Well, I did help! She’s still working on it. >.> The business exists, we’re getting our insurance through it, so that’s good! The rest of it is up to her. 🙂

  3. Stable and Reliable Income. This piece is still under construction. As the coaching business grows, it will naturally come to pass.

  4. Figure Out What’s Up With My Writing. Honestly, I just didn’t have time to work on this with the coach training going on. I have a project in place to take this on again in 2019.

  5. Sell. A. Book. Didn’t happen, ‘cos above.

  6. Issues Seven, Eight, and Nine. Seven done. Eight 1/2 way done. Nine will have to come next year.

  7. Continue Fixing the Country. I’ve marched, I’ve voted, I’ve campaigned, I’ve called my reps a million times. It’s an ongoing process.

  8. Take a Vacation. Alas, did not happen.

It essentially boils down to “the coach training was huge and intense and took most of my mental energy.” So a lot of other things didn’t get done while that was happening. I have no regrets, though– this was something I badly needed.

What did happen was that for the first time since I can remember, I really and truly became friends with myself– like, all of myself, even the parts I had not been willing to talk to since I was four. There was a specific moment that I had never forgiven myself or let go of the pain and shame from, which I confronted and processed… finally. Only forty-five years later! But better late than never.

Confronting this moment led to the birth of Nii-chan, about whom I’ve written at length elsewhere. In a lot of ways, she is the best version of me, and whenever I find myself wondering what I want to do about something, or who I should be in a moment, I ask myself “What would Nii-chan do?” She’s like the integrated version of the Three Lions and an Otter, but even her version of Business Guy is a lot happier. (Nii-chan is also practice for my next incarnation, so I can hit the planet running when that comes to pass. I don’t want to waste forty years of my next life trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.)

So, yeah. It’s been a big year on that score. But where do I want to go in 2019?

  1. Bring Rough Housing to Its Conclusion. 2019 will be the 20th anniversary of Suburban Jungle, and it seems a fitting place to bring that chapter to a close. My current plan is to finish the story at the end of issue ten. As my hand tremors get worse, it is becoming harder to keep up with what was already an ambitious production schedule, and honestly, I think that story-wise, RH will be done at that point. So I’d rather finish something and feel good about it, than to drag it out to stay within the familiar.

  2. Writing Goals. My goalposts on this front are two short stories sold, an agent secured for Sky Pirates of Calypsitania, a furry novel written for NaNoWriMo, and an anthology project created with FurPlanet.

  3. She-Ra Writing Gig. Seeing Seanan McGuire geek out about landing the writing job on Spider-Gwen made me realize that I wanted that experience in my life. Spider-Gwen is a character that Seanan was pretty much born to write, and honestly, I feel the same about Catra and myself. I have no idea how I’m going to convince the She-Ra writing team to let me on board, but I’ll find a way.

  4. Full Coaching Client Roster. My goal is 14+ clients by this time next year, including five Creativity Klatch clients and three Mentor Coaching clients.

  5. California Trip. I miss Big Sur like whoa.

  6. 222 Pounds. Something that wasn’t on my 2018 list was losing weight– so naturally I made big strides on that! XD Specifically I lost 30 pounds since May, bringing me to my lowest adult weight yet. I have another 50 pounds to go to be at my goal weight of 222, but I am confident that I will hit it this year.

  7. Continue Continuing to Fix the Country. Keep going ’til it doesn’t suck.

So, yeah. That’s where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. I think 2019 is gonna be a great year. 🙂

the_gneech: (Default)
September and October have been something of a rough spot, productivity wise. I spent a lot of September just plain sick, and while I did finally get through that, the time since then has felt kinda like being in a plane that goes "brrzzt... brrzzt... cough!" and doesn't want to stay in the air.

I don't want to get into the quagmire of why that is; what I want to focus on right now, is what to DO about it. I need to get my shit together in order to make a living, and I want to get my shit together just because I'm tired of being somebody who, well, isn't that. >.>

Working with my own coach, one thing I've distinguished is that I have been "all over the place" in terms of focus. I mean, this isn't news– I'll be all excited about writing for a while, then all excited about my comics for a while, then all excited about D&D for a while, then then then... And that drive and excitement can lead me to accomplish great things. But the downside is, it can also lead to dozens of promising starts that end in frustrated fizzles. Another book not finished. Another commission sitting in the queue for months. Another day gone by without finding a new coaching client.

My go-to here would be to rail against the tyranny of time, which is one of my favorite enemies. I get into the zone and focus on a thing, something I'd like to accomplish in a few hours or a day's work, and three weeks pass. It's very, very, VERY annoying.

But it's also the world that is, so what good does railing against it do? None. I have to find a way to work with reality instead of against it.

So that's what I'm focusing on today, starting with this journal entry. I want to get back to daily writing and/or journaling, because that is something that always helps keep me both focused and happy. To that end, I've hopped back onto to gamify it. Lady Rowyn and Inkblitz used to be my pals there, and I don't know if either of them are still on it, but it was fun having writing buddies. I'm also looking for ways to "clear my decks" because I feel like I'm spread too thin. I've barely touched my Twitterponies in a long time, and I feel guilty about that. I've got outstanding commissions, and I feel guilty about that. I've got rewards promised to Patreon subscribers, and I'm always worried about making sure those get done in time– it feels like it's always the last week of the month and everything's due.

(Speaking of which: it's the last week of the month, and everything's due.)

Finally, I will cultivate my daily meditation habit to help calm my yakkity-sax mind. I used to meditate a lot more often, while riding in the car, or on a break at work, or whatever, but somewhere along the line I fell out of it. Probably stress is a factor– the stress of current events, of being worried about money, and ironically the stress of mental noise itself that meditation is the treatment for. It's kind of an insidious trap that the problem itself is the major impediment to the treatment of the problem. XD

So, yeah. Consider this entry #1 of my new daily journaling habit. XD And I've hit about 600 words here, not bad! ;) I have in mind to write a followup to my D&D blog from the other day about wandering monsters, too, but that might wait until tomorrow.

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Not gonna lie. Sometimes I get burned out on being at the leading edge of creation. -.-

"What? You, a life coach and everything? Say it ain't so!" I know, crazy, right?

I mean, I've been making some amazing strides in clearing out old blocks, smoothing out the rough edges of my personality, and weeding out ways of being that don't serve me. But it has been a ton of work and has not yet completely translated into putting food on the table.

I was already wrestling with the fact that so many of my goals and motivations have recently been coming from a place of avoidance rather than desire, and trying to shift that piece into a more powerful place. And then, last week, the flu shot made me sick.

As of today, I am mostly recovered from that, but dang, I'm still exhausted. I need some time off from creating new realities, from declaring and fulfilling, and from personal growth spurts. I need some time where I'm receiving, consuming, and taking it easy. In short, I need a vacation.

The hard part is reconciling that with the income piece. Money keeps jumping out from behind things and yelling "Boo!" and it's hard to relax while watching those life savings dwindle. On the other hand, in my current burned-out state it's hard to muster up the motivation to go DO something about it. I look at finding some kind of day job, and go "meh." I stare at stacks of business cards to do cold calls, and go "meh."

So... yeah. Sometimes even Princess Poppy [1] gets worn out. It happens to the best of us.

But I'll find a way through it. I've been excited and inspired before, and I know I can get there again. I'm just taking a moment to acknowledge where I am rather than pretending it doesn't exist. The next step, is doing something about it.

[1] As I've been dubbed by Zia and Sirfox.
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Running of the 16-ton Weights

I've had a rough couple of weeks. :P

Long story short, too many plates spinning. Between Barnes & Noble, coach training, coach actually doing, commissions, the comic, and actually running some D&D, there was just no way to do it all. And then, I got sick, and everything just came clattering down like the chef in those old Sesame Street shorts who would call out "Five! Fancy! Fruitcakes!" and then promptly fall down the stairs.

I feel you, Sesame Street Fall Down the Stairs Guy.

I did manage to finish Leona Is Not Safe For Work, get to all of my B&N shifts other than the one where I called in sick, do some networking with Justy, and ran D&D last night. Tonight, I do not get to go to bed until Joey Gatorman's commission is done. So a lot of things have gotten done. But as of right now I still have not taken on a formal coaching client and have fallen behind on my training, don't have a comic page for next week, and am not likely to have one for the week after, either.

There just literally isn't time to do it all, and even if I try, I'm just going to make myself sick again, because I'm not getting any days off in between.

Of all these things, the most time consuming and least rewarding has been Barnes & Noble, so I gave my notice there, as of this coming Friday. This coming week I will be catching up as much as I can before the second training weekend with Accomplishment Coaching.

Last night, I had the classic "The semester's over and you haven't gone to class!" dream, and woke up feeling overwhelmed and terrible. Yes, thank you brain, I'm aware of this, you don't need to remind me. Today, in between being at B&N again, I'm going to make it a do-or-die priority to finish that commission.

I'm standing up, cleaning the custard splats off my face, and moving forward.

-The Gneech
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It's been a while since I did any weekly weigh-ins or the like; I got knocked off of almost everything I was trying to do a while back, weight loss included, and I'm trying to rebuild.

So, for the record, as of yesterday morning, I was 297 pounds, which is thirty pounds heavier than my best a few years ago, but is also twenty pounds lighter than my worst. So, given that I was pretty depressed and eating super-badly for so much of 2016-2017, it could be a lot worse. I've been getting a fair amount of exercise (in the form of daily steps) via the B&N job, of course, and having much smaller and more regular meals.

My biggest challenge was, is, and continues to be, my sweet tooth. Carbs and sugar both are things that I tend to crave a lot, and have been my habitual staples for just about as long as I can remember. It's kind of ironic, because when I was a kid my mom would make this huge deal out of me not being allowed to have "sugary cereals," but I could drink all the soda I wanted. XD But, y'know, it was the '70s.

But I've been working on replacing my big sugar sources (most notably mochas) with unsweetened versions, I'm going to start replacing my go-to carby choices with other things as well over the next month or so. I don't have a lot of the specifics of that plan worked out yet, mostly doing research on it right now. An interesting side-note is that dairy stuff, while technically being low on the glycemic index, still reacts in your body as if it were high in sugar– which means that cutting back on milk and cheese might also be required. That's something that will take some serious habit-breaking. O.o

In Other News...

Tomorrow is the first day of my Success Coach training! I expect there to be a lot of aligning with concepts and actualization of things. XD But for all the cliché cheese, I'm going in with an open mind. My view is that this is kind of an "apprenticeship" for me, and as such, my job is to learn the profession as it is done now before I go making judgements on whether that is good, bad, or indifferent. I suspect that with time and experience, I will probably have some pretty strong ideas about what works for me and what doesn't... but until then, anything I might have to say would be like the white belt in a martial arts class lecturing the teacher. Even if it's right, it doesn't mean I have a complete picture.

Anyway! I need to be on the train early tomorrow, so I'd better hit the hay. G'nite world, and have an awesome tomorrow. :)

-The Gneech

April 2019

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