For your present, here's today's Forgotten English!
jirging
The noise too dry shoes make when walked with.
--John Mactaggart's Scottish Gallovidian Encyclopedia, 1824
Krohn's Wheelbarrow Tour
On this date in 1908, journalist John Albert Krohn trudged off from Portland, Maine, on a nationwide trek after loading his necessities into a homemade wooden wheelbarrow. He had long wanted to see America and was ready for a change from newspaper work. Krohn walked the nation's perimeter, heading first through New Hampshire, Vermont, and upstate New York, along the Greak Lakes to far-northern Minnesota, due west to Washington, down to southern California, east across the Southwest and the South, and finally up the Atlantic seaboard. In the course of his thirteen month, 9,024-mile journey, he wore out three wheelbarrow tires, 121 pairs of socks, and eleven pairs of shoes. He was hospitably greeted along the way, receiving many overnight accomodations and meals as well as cards of encouragement to decorate his vehicle. He saw his story published about 1910 as The Walk of Colonial Jack: A Story of a Long Distance Walker.
And here I know people who won't take a parking place that's further out than two or three spaces from the shopping mall entrance.
-The Gneech