When Envy Met Narcissus

[the_gneech]

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
–H.L. Mencken

I tossed out an off-hand tweet yesterday that I had encountered a "selfie stick" in the wild for the first time. In return I received a few replies of the usual sort of sneer that tends to come up when selfies are mentioned, and my immediate thought was a somewhat bothered, "What gives?"

Selfies, it seems, have been deemed BadWrongFun by certain quarters, and as must always be done, BadWrongFun is metaphorically spat upon, by those who must spit upon it. In short, I received replies tinged with selfie hate. And, well, I just don't get it. Certainly the obvious "If you don't like selfies, don't take them!" response applies, but of all the ridiculous things to be judgmental about, why heave your scorn upon people using a cellphone to grab a quick snapshot of themselves, usually with a loved one?

In particular, the selfie stick I encountered was being wielded by a member of a large family in a restaurant, who appeared to be gathered for some sort of important event. I didn't mention that in my tweet, but really, is it relevant? Is wanting to be in the family dinner party photo somehow more worthy?

The psychology behind selfie scorn, as near as I can tell, is probably best summed up by my friend Indigo's observation, "selfies are not humble." And really, when I think about selfies, that does seem to be their leading characteristic. Someone willing to take a selfie is someone who is for that moment at least comfortable in their skin, and that is a state of mind which we, as a culture, seem to have serious problems with.

Compare/contrast the pathological dislike of having one's photo taken, which is common among many friends I've had over the years. Of the two states of mind, I would say it's much healthier to be able to take a silly snapshot of yourself than to be so distraught by the difference in your ideal self vs. your real self that you can't stand to even look at the evidence of it.

I've also heard it posited that people hate selfies because they're associated with teenage girls, which is something else our culture has serious problems with. While I can see that being a contributing factor, I don't think that's all there is to it. I think it's more that a lot of the things typically associated with teenage girls (youthful exuberance, high interest in sociality, a certain sophomoric shallowness) are related to the fore-mentioned comfort in one's own skin. (Which is ironic, considering that many teenage girls would consider comfort in their own skin to be the last thing they have.) The sort of self-containment and self-sufficiency shared by a clique of teenage girls ("Hire a teenager: you don't have to train them because they already know everything!") is something many an adult, mired in the vagaries and irreconcilable problems of grownup life, wishes they could reclaim.

I dunno. I'm just rambling I guess. I think what it boils down to is, "If you don't like selfies, don't take 'em." As far as I'm concerned they're harmless and fun, and may very well be prized by people later as a remembrance of days gone by. So what's not to like?

-The Gneech

PS: Selfie time!

Comments

[radbaron.livejournal.com]

All I mentioned was "Staff of Narcissus" , while it may sound derogatory to some, for others it is an apt description. Having an object whose sole purpose is to give your arms an extension , thereby giving you a "whole body" picture instead of a facial closeup, does seem to be on the low end of items we should celebrate :)

For the dinner party example given, why not ask the waiter/waitress to take the picture? Throw them an extra dollar on the tip for doing so. Maybe use a "real" camera, even if it is digital.

Looking at this photo.... were you bitten by a cat? ;)

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

"Wand/Staff of Narcissus" is funny and doesn't count as hate. :) I was referring to other replies. :)

-TG

[sirfox.livejournal.com]

I've got no particular dog in this race, as i neither take them or care much that various social media is saturated with same. The term 'rod of narcissus' was pretty awesome.

I know there's a gym that just set itself up with no mirrors for the express purpose of people to, you know, work out, rather than take pictures of themselves all over the gym (granted, it's an article in Daily Fail, soo... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2901447/No-mirror-selfies-allowed-Welcome-gym-s-banned-posers-just-good-look-themselves.html )

In such a circumstance, it's just a failure of basic courtesy. Taken to excess, it's just LOOOOK AAAAT MEEEEEEEE!!!! writ large.

As a frothing rage of somebody just taking a picture of themselves and a friend in a place for an image to treasure... get angry about something that matters, instead.

[kylet.livejournal.com]

Um, to some extent, mirrors are a good, if not necessary, way to check form when doing weights. One trainer also noted that being able to SEE progress is a good motivator to keep going. I know not all gyms want to cater to serious weightlifters, but IMHO removing them *completely* is pretty daft.