Go the F**k to Sleep, Gneech

[the_gneech]

I've talked before about the link between depression and sleep. I can always tell when I haven't had enough sleep because stupid things cause me to moodcrash. Things that should only slightly vex me or better yet not bother me at all, instead become these huge, towering, soul-crushing things.

I also get very squirrely and plagued with all sorts of self-doubt, convinced that my very presence annoys or irritates people whose opinion I really care about, despite their often clear and explicit stating of the contrary. I get lonely, I obsess, I get needy, which in turn makes me get jealous, and then I repress all of that to avoid dumping my problems on other people, which just leads me into a tailspin down a rabbit-hole of self-loathing and unhappiness.

Thing of it is, none of it is real. It's all just the stupid chemicals floating around in my brain, firing off the "suck" receptors and blocking the "awesome" receptors. My rational mind knows this, having learned the hard way from a lifetime of coping with it. But it still feels real while it's happening.

So, yeah ... the best way to treat it? Go the f**k to sleep. That's also in many ways the hardest thing for me to do. I have a finite number of days, and I really hate surrendering them at the end. But if I don't, it'll just be that much worse tomorrow.

So why am posting this? Partially to avoid going to bed. But also as a reminder to other lifetime depressives out there who might be reading this and nodding as they go: it's not you. It's not real. It's bad mojo in your head. You can fix it. Just go the f**k to sleep. The morning will be better.

-The Gneech

Comments

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

The tiger reclines in his computer chair.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
F*ck your stuffed bear, I’m not getting you sh*t.
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

*Hugs da Gneech*

prescription for sleeplessness from an expert...

[mammallamadevil.livejournal.com]

1) ingest small food item
2) nice poofy comforter or heated throw
3) small stuffed animal
4) 2 Tylenol or 1 advil

good luck....MLD

[jamesbarrett.livejournal.com]

Yeah, bad mojo in my head, I don't need you here. If I can get this brain of mine to just shut up, I'll find myself in a magical world where everything makes sense, even when it doesn't and that's way more fun than listening to your droning on and on, bad mojo.

You tell it like it is Gneech. Represent!

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I wish I could. Unfortunately I've just got up and now I have to go and deal with another day of shit.

Maybe something awesome will happen later!

[keross.livejournal.com]

There is a correlation between lack of quality sleep and depression. The question is which causes which. Insomnia can cause depression, conversely, depression can cause insomnia. It becomes a Vicious cycle.

Yeah, I know from personal knowledge.

Keep telling yourself it'll get better, knowing what is happening really is half the battle.

[klepsydra.livejournal.com]

Well said. Particularly given the time of year, where even those not affected by SAD are liable to be stressed out by the approach of Xmas, or vice versa...

[hallan.livejournal.com]

I can empathise- lack of sleep seems to be the primary cause of my Sunday Morning Meltdowns at conventions. I was so happy at MFF this year for managing my sleep schedule well enough to avoid having one.

Go to bed!

[hossblacksilver.livejournal.com]

As read by Samuel L. Jackson.

[panthras.livejournal.com]

Well said sir, there are tims when there's so much going on in my head that I'm too restless to sleep, methinks I'll be reaching for the Horlicks before too long :)