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September and October have been something of a rough spot, productivity wise. I spent a lot of September just plain sick, and while I did finally get through that, the time since then has felt kinda like being in a plane that goes "brrzzt... brrzzt... cough!" and doesn't want to stay in the air.

I don't want to get into the quagmire of why that is; what I want to focus on right now, is what to DO about it. I need to get my shit together in order to make a living, and I want to get my shit together just because I'm tired of being somebody who, well, isn't that. >.>

Working with my own coach, one thing I've distinguished is that I have been "all over the place" in terms of focus. I mean, this isn't news– I'll be all excited about writing for a while, then all excited about my comics for a while, then all excited about D&D for a while, then then then... And that drive and excitement can lead me to accomplish great things. But the downside is, it can also lead to dozens of promising starts that end in frustrated fizzles. Another book not finished. Another commission sitting in the queue for months. Another day gone by without finding a new coaching client.

My go-to here would be to rail against the tyranny of time, which is one of my favorite enemies. I get into the zone and focus on a thing, something I'd like to accomplish in a few hours or a day's work, and three weeks pass. It's very, very, VERY annoying.

But it's also the world that is, so what good does railing against it do? None. I have to find a way to work with reality instead of against it.

So that's what I'm focusing on today, starting with this journal entry. I want to get back to daily writing and/or journaling, because that is something that always helps keep me both focused and happy. To that end, I've hopped back onto to gamify it. Lady Rowyn and Inkblitz used to be my pals there, and I don't know if either of them are still on it, but it was fun having writing buddies. I'm also looking for ways to "clear my decks" because I feel like I'm spread too thin. I've barely touched my Twitterponies in a long time, and I feel guilty about that. I've got outstanding commissions, and I feel guilty about that. I've got rewards promised to Patreon subscribers, and I'm always worried about making sure those get done in time– it feels like it's always the last week of the month and everything's due.

(Speaking of which: it's the last week of the month, and everything's due.)

Finally, I will cultivate my daily meditation habit to help calm my yakkity-sax mind. I used to meditate a lot more often, while riding in the car, or on a break at work, or whatever, but somewhere along the line I fell out of it. Probably stress is a factor– the stress of current events, of being worried about money, and ironically the stress of mental noise itself that meditation is the treatment for. It's kind of an insidious trap that the problem itself is the major impediment to the treatment of the problem. XD

So, yeah. Consider this entry #1 of my new daily journaling habit. XD And I've hit about 600 words here, not bad! ;) I have in mind to write a followup to my D&D blog from the other day about wandering monsters, too, but that might wait until tomorrow.

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Not gonna lie. Sometimes I get burned out on being at the leading edge of creation. -.-

"What? You, a life coach and everything? Say it ain't so!" I know, crazy, right?

I mean, I've been making some amazing strides in clearing out old blocks, smoothing out the rough edges of my personality, and weeding out ways of being that don't serve me. But it has been a ton of work and has not yet completely translated into putting food on the table.

I was already wrestling with the fact that so many of my goals and motivations have recently been coming from a place of avoidance rather than desire, and trying to shift that piece into a more powerful place. And then, last week, the flu shot made me sick.

As of today, I am mostly recovered from that, but dang, I'm still exhausted. I need some time off from creating new realities, from declaring and fulfilling, and from personal growth spurts. I need some time where I'm receiving, consuming, and taking it easy. In short, I need a vacation.

The hard part is reconciling that with the income piece. Money keeps jumping out from behind things and yelling "Boo!" and it's hard to relax while watching those life savings dwindle. On the other hand, in my current burned-out state it's hard to muster up the motivation to go DO something about it. I look at finding some kind of day job, and go "meh." I stare at stacks of business cards to do cold calls, and go "meh."

So... yeah. Sometimes even Princess Poppy [1] gets worn out. It happens to the best of us.

But I'll find a way through it. I've been excited and inspired before, and I know I can get there again. I'm just taking a moment to acknowledge where I am rather than pretending it doesn't exist. The next step, is doing something about it.

[1] As I've been dubbed by Zia and Sirfox.
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Running of the 16-ton Weights

I've had a rough couple of weeks. :P

Long story short, too many plates spinning. Between Barnes & Noble, coach training, coach actually doing, commissions, the comic, and actually running some D&D, there was just no way to do it all. And then, I got sick, and everything just came clattering down like the chef in those old Sesame Street shorts who would call out "Five! Fancy! Fruitcakes!" and then promptly fall down the stairs.

I feel you, Sesame Street Fall Down the Stairs Guy.

I did manage to finish Leona Is Not Safe For Work, get to all of my B&N shifts other than the one where I called in sick, do some networking with Justy, and ran D&D last night. Tonight, I do not get to go to bed until Joey Gatorman's commission is done. So a lot of things have gotten done. But as of right now I still have not taken on a formal coaching client and have fallen behind on my training, don't have a comic page for next week, and am not likely to have one for the week after, either.

There just literally isn't time to do it all, and even if I try, I'm just going to make myself sick again, because I'm not getting any days off in between.

Of all these things, the most time consuming and least rewarding has been Barnes & Noble, so I gave my notice there, as of this coming Friday. This coming week I will be catching up as much as I can before the second training weekend with Accomplishment Coaching.

Last night, I had the classic "The semester's over and you haven't gone to class!" dream, and woke up feeling overwhelmed and terrible. Yes, thank you brain, I'm aware of this, you don't need to remind me. Today, in between being at B&N again, I'm going to make it a do-or-die priority to finish that commission.

I'm standing up, cleaning the custard splats off my face, and moving forward.

-The Gneech
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Woke up this morning with a severe headache, dizziness, and acid/nausea. I couldn't tell if the headache was causing the nausea, or the nausea was causing the headache, but it was bad. Seriously bad. :P My assumption was that something I'd eaten yesterday had messed me up, and I suppose that might still be what it was, but it was severe and over the day it just got worse. After a brief bit of drawing that wiped me out, it was back to bed.

I slept all day, but not particularly well– even asleep I was still aware of how miserable I was, and I would drift in and out. My stomach got more acidic, and my headache got worse; Laurie called in to B&N for me because I could barely make coherent sentences.

By the evening, however, hunger began to win out over nausea. Starting with some chicken and rice soup (the brothy kind, not the creamy kind) and some Advil, I managed to get enough energy from that to do a protein bar, and then suddenly I wanted ALL THE CHOCOLATE.

I didn't actually eat ALL THE CHOCOLATE, but I did have a few bits of dark chocolate to get some caffeine and sugar into my bloodstream... and then it was back to sleep. A cold wet washcloth pressed into my face felt like a gift from heaven, but it didn't stay cold. XD

Now, a few hours later, I am up and mobile, if shuffling around like a zombie. Stomach is still acidey as a mofo, so I chewed on some Tums, but so far all that does is made it feel acidic and slippery. >.> Trying to hydrate with tea and will probably do a bit of vanilla ice cream later as well.

I hope whatever this is, goes away by tomorrow. I've got a lot of stuff I need and want to get done this week specifically, and spending my time hiding in a dark room so the lights will stop poking my eyes is not conducive to productivity.

Poking around various medical websites trying to figure out my symptoms was not helpful. It definitely wasn't AFib: my heart rhythm is strong and steady. It wasn't a stroke, I can still move and talk and so on. But beyond that, my symptoms suggest a sugar overdose, low blood sugar, dehydration, liver failure, or possibly a calcified pineal gland. >.> I also thought of psychosomatic stress reaction, since the last time I had a headache this severe was when I was 12 and life was incredibly awful.

So... I dunno. Whatever this is, I want it to go away. I've got things I want to do!

-The Gneech


Feb. 10th, 2018 11:44 am
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I may draw the first-ever NSFW Suburban Jungle art today and tomorrow.

I am weirdly antsy about it.

-The Gneech
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Like the video, this month is going to be epic.

Why? Because in February I have to do ALL THE THINGS. O.o

What things specifically? Oh, just...

  • Finding and taking on at least four new coaching clients

  • Completing my monthly practice areas for next month's training weekend

  • A page of Suburban Jungle every week

  • A big commission for Joey Gatorman

  • A smaller-but-still-important commission for Fzygal

  • Art for the AC conbook

  • Oh yeah, I have a job at Barnes & Noble, don't I?

These are the things that I need to do this month. In terms of what I want to do this month, I have a piece of Valentine's Day art that I want to do for a) fun and b) as the start of this mysterious NSFW art project I have been hinting around about in certain circles, and at some point Jamie and Inkblitz are going start giving me the side-eye if I don't, y'know, run some more D&D myself. >.> ^.^'

The keys to getting all this done are going to be timing, focus, and perseverance, with a healthy dose of scheduling breaks in to make sure I don't burn out. I can't take on coaching clients until Accomplishment Coaching finishes setting up my billing information, so while I'm waiting on that anyway, it's time to crank on art. Joey Gatorman commission has been in the queue for the longest, but as long as I send him WIPs, I should be able to get the Valentine's Day piece done on Thursday, and so forth.

However! That does mean that a lot of my go-to time wasters are going to have to go to the curb, including (but not limited to) Twitter and Tumblr, places where I am prone to just shutting off my brain and absorbing the way previous generations would just lie in bed in front of the TV all night (but all the more insidious because you can take it wherever you go).

So if I seem quiet or remote in the next few weeks, that's what's up. Feel free to toss me an e-mail or DM if you need anything or just want to chat! ♥ I'm not becoming a hermit, just crunching against multiple deadlines.

-The Gneech
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Today was full of much stuff. A lot of it was related to the creation of the Coaching business, such as getting a quote on liability insurance, connecting with a local small biz accountant, and so on, but a lot was also involved in art and convention stuff, including sending off panel proposals to FurTheMore and AnthroCon, dealing with convention logistics, and so forth. I also spoke to Teiran about a new art/book project idea– about which more later this week.

We also picked up some special food for Dasher, had some yummy fried shrimp for dinner ourselves, and tried mochi for the first time. Long story short: we weren't super-impressed. It didn't suck, but it wasn't something we're eager to try again.

I rounded off the evening by writing up my top twenty affirmations or self-reminders on Post-It Notes, which are now stuck across the bottom of my monitor so I can review them at will. I can hear some peoples' eyes rolling at that idea from here, but I don't care, I think they're a great idea. We spend our lives, and especially our young lives, being told all kinds of stupid crap over and over by our parents, the television, social media, and so on, and our brains just suck all that up like a sponge. If I'm going to have my brain taking in messages from the outside, then I want those messages to be positive and reinforce the thoughts, plans, and ideas that are meaningful and useful for me.

Some of them are simple and obvious choices, like "Where Gneeches go, parties follow!" Others are reminders of things I want to be grateful for and keep in mind, especially as I move forward into new projects that will be taking me out of my current comfort zone. One of them is the pretty basic "Have you updated Dreamwidth today?" ...hence this post. ;) I mentioned on Twitter a few days ago that I was taking small steps in order to build up to big changes, and this is one of them.

Since this post is here, I'd say it's working. ;)

Anyway, now I'm off to get some sleep. It's been a day. Gnite world, and have an awesome tomorrow, even (and especially) if you have to make it one, yourself.

-The Gneech
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Surprise Party Cannon! By NC Mares

I'm not sure exactly when I picked up the catchphrase "Where Gneeches go, parties follow!" but it has to have been at least the late '90s. I love it because not only is it a statement of intent (to wit, that I will make life a party wherever I go), but also because it's a D&D pun. In any game where I am a player, I am generally in the "party leader" role.

But I have been putting more thought into just what it means lately, and for all its simplicity how really deep it goes into both who I am, and who I want to be, and my deepest values. It's why I create comics, and specifically why I create the KIND of comics I do. It's why I love the furry fandom so much. It's why I like cheesy bubblegum pop music, even knowing that so much of it is intellectual popcorn. It's why the crapsack-worldness of current events has got me so much more riled up than I usually am.

But going into my training as a success coach, one of the things we've already worked on is identifying what our core really is– "If you lived in a perfect world, where everyone was healthy, lived in abundance, and so on... what would you want to bring into it?" Some people come up with answers like "love," "serenity," and so on. My word was "delight."

And on a side-discussion with my counselor today, I mentioned that trying to figure out what it was about California that I wanted in my life that isn't there. "How would California Gneech be different? What's there that isn't here?" And that the answer I had come up with, based on the prevalence of sunshine, and the ability to get out and do stuff year round, was that in my head at least, California was just more fun than the east coast.

And the moment I said this, once again, something in my mind went "click." Why is Suburban Jungle full of blue skies and beaches? Because that's fun. Why do I say "Where Gneeches go, parties follow"? Because parties are fun! (At least if you're doing them right.) What is "Bringing the Awesome!" all about, when you get right down to it?

It's about making life fun. It's about making life a party.

Like so many things, it's obvious in hindsight. But now, I think possibly for the first time in my life, I really understand it. Forty-eight friggin' years old, and I finally got my cutiemark. ;D

Thanks for the revelation, Universe! Sorry I was just too dense to see it before. XD

-The Gneech
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Lake Anne, Reston

Solarpunk – a plausible near-future sci-fi genre, [...] based on updated Art Nouveau, Victorian, and Edwardian aesthetics, combined with a green and renewable energy movement to create a world in which children grow up being taught about building electronic tech as well as food gardening and other skills, and people have come back around to appreciating artisans and craftspeople, from stonemasons and smithies, to dress makers and jewelers, and everyone in between. -Olivia.

The house is starting to take shape, although [personal profile] laurie_robey and I seriously need some downtime to just come together and work on it, as she's been doing most of the organizing herself by virtue of actually being here. The B&N job, while it has its virtues, has been an enormous time/energy sink, and I suspect it will not last once I get into training. It doesn't make that much more than commissions + book sales, but has made those harder to get done in a timely way.

Being back in Virginia is definitely a relief, and we've made a point of getting some walking around the neighborhood in. The neighbors we've met are all very nice and there's a good sense of community here, which pleases me. And of course, Reston was solarpunk before there was solarpunk, despite every developer in the world trying to turn it into another Crystal City for the past fifty years.

Fuck off, developers. :P Nobody likes you.

The cats have been loving the new place, once they got over the stress of moving. The wide open living room gives them lots of room to tear around when they play, and Dasher particularly loves to Tokyo Drift all around the hardwood floors. (He very clearly does it on purpose when he's happy and excited– when all he wants is to get from point A to point B he just takes the turn normally.) We're particularly happy to see Dasher being energetic and having fun, as he is starting to show his age. He's not processing vitamin B12 properly, so we have to give him a weekly injection of that, and he'll be off to the vet later today for a heart checkup. Given everything he's been through, he's still doing very well.

Also today I have a call with someone from the life coach training organization I'm interested in. I already spoke to one person there, an alumnus who I made contact with through my counselor and who has a very successful practice as well as still working with the training group. The person I'm speaking to today is actually one of her trainers, and I intend to get into a bit more detail about the nitty gritty of the actual program. (Hours, schedule, tuition costs, etc.)

It sounds quite promising. The program is designed to give you hands-on experience fairly quickly and helps you set up your own practice, find clients and referrals, and so forth. Some people (such as my initial contact) stay with the program or create a hybrid career combining clients of their own with program clients, while others simply strike off on their own after completing the course. And since part of understanding what life coaching is all about is having a clients'-eye view of the process, you get the services of one of the instructors as a coach yourself while you go through it all. (Given that I have been more-or-less acting as my own life coach for the past few years, it'd be handy to offload that task onto someone else for a while– not unlike the lawyer not representing themselves. ;) )

Seriously tho, once I started examining the idea of coaching, the more I began to think it was a good fit for me. I've basically been doing it for some of my friends for years (or decades) just by instinct, but it would be good to actually know what I'm doing. ;) (It would also be good to have a profitable line of work again, without going back to the code mines. I don't think I could successfully be an I.T. guy any more even if I wanted to, which God knows I don't.) I suspect the hardest part of the business for me will be the actual entrepreneurial aspect– i.e., billing, accounting, all that jazz– and part of the training program is helping you get that all set up.

Besides creating this as a new career, I'm also thinking about ways I can use the skills to help out the fandom(s) I'm in. I'm looking at creating a "How To Successfully Human" panel to run at furry cons, for instance. Plus anything that makes me a better businessman can only help with selling books and running my tables at conventions. If 2018 goes as I intend, I shall be well on my towards making a better future for myself and the world. :)

-The Gneech
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Moving day was a success! 99.99% of stuff moved, in reasonable shape, and no injuries sustained (woot). We now get to look forward to a few weeks of wondering where the hell _________ got to, and why the heck is it in this box marked "hall closet" anyway? My desk is currently assembled just enough to hold my laptop, with drawing tablet and second monitor lurking quiescent and unconnected nearby.

The cats have responded to the move each according to their character: Dasher has explored every nook and cranny of the place, said, "Yup, it's mine," and is now sleeping peacefully in a chair. InkyGirl is having a much more difficult adjustment. I had to sit out with her last night and keep petting and encouraging her to get her to even eat her dinner, because every random creak, or every time [personal profile] laurie_robey would so much as cough in the other room, Inky's panic mode would kick in.

Fortunately, as the night went on, and notably once Laurie and I went to bed (which apparently signaled to InkyGirl that if the BIG cats were confident to sleep, she was probably fairly safe too), she became a little braver and explored some as well. By this morning, she was confident to walk around openly, brazenly marching across the open floor instead of hiding in the piles of boxes, but then we had to spoil it all by opening the front door to go get breakfast.

Sorry, InkyGirl. The dishes are all still in a box, probably marked "Office Curtains." But she'll be fine, with time. :)

Last night, as we headed out to get some dinner and pick up a new curtain rod for the bedroom, Laurie said, "It finally feels real. We're really moving back to Virginia. Until we were actually driving over here with the cats in the car, it was all very abstract." What I said, was, "The 'Unsuck Our Lives' project is starting to bear fruit!"

This place isn't perfect, of course... the kitchen is smaller than the bedroom closet for starters, and there are a lot of newbie do-it-yourselfer mistakes we can tell the landlord did in his renovation efforts. But we have lots of space, we're back in our old stomping grounds in a part of Reston we like, and next to my desk I have a full-length window looking out into our heavily-wooded back yard. We've got hardwood floors, decent internet, a Whole Foods in walking distance, a nice neighbor with Harry Potter stickers on her rear window and a goofy witch hat decoration in her yard. For the first time since leaving The Hobbit Hole, I feel really good about our home, and that's going to make it so much easier to use it as an office/home base for building new projects and a career on.

Life is good. :)

-The Gneech
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I have decided that, as much as it annoys me, I am once again going to have to punt on NaNoWriMo, because, just like last year, November is just too damn crammed full of stuff. The big one is moving, but even that could be handled except for picking up the seasonal job at Barnes & Noble. Between now and the end of November, I have three days off: one is Thanksgiving, one is Moving Day. The rest of the time, I'm doing 8-hour retail shifts during the height of Christmas shopping season.

When you combine that with a half-baked story outline, and the fact that my mind is in a completely different space because I am all interested in coming up with new career and money-making options now that we're moving back to Virginia, you end up with NaNoWriMo simply being too far down on the list of priorities. On top of all that, I don't want [personal profile] laurie_robey to be doing all the packing and moving herself, again. We've moved like that way too many times, never again.

But fear not, dear readers! I am still going to write the book, and it wouldn't surprise me if I finish it by the end of January, but I am not going to cram on it for NaNoWriMo. Instead I'm going to go back and write up a proper outline using the ~22k words I have already as a launching pad. I know my basic cast, I know a lot of the core issues of the book, and I know generally where I want it to go, so that's a good foundation. But I discovered when writing Tend On Mortal Thoughts and Sky Pirates of Calypsitania, that I really, really like having a complete and fairly detailed outline; writing without one makes me feel like I'm trying to create a sculpture out of pudding.

I plan to write at least two novels between now and the end of 2018, of which this year's NaNoWriMo project (Child of the Tower) was one. The other is the Sky Pirates prequel. These books have two separate markets and eventual fates: Child of the Tower is intended to be the first in a new series of furry fantasy novels, while Clockwork Caper (the Sky Pirates prequel) will go to mainstream publishers, either as fantasy or teen fantasy/adventure. I do at some point need to fall in love with Clockwork Caper as its own thing– right now I still kind of think of it as a vehicle for finally getting Sky Pirates of Calypsitania on the shelves. (What can I say? I love Sky Pirates of Calypsitania. Not only is it the best thing I've written so far, it's also exactly the kind of book I wish I could read.)

So, About Those Money Goals...

I have put a lot of thought into creating a career lately, because what I've been doing just ain't cutting it. I enjoy both my art and my writing, but I haven't gotten to the point where I'm making the kind of money I want and need from it, nor have I found a way to make myself approach and think of it as "a real job." I haven't nailed down why this is, but I'm also tired of gazing into my navel about it and just want to get on with life already. To that end, I am now looking at other options.

I have also figured out that my "rebel tendency" nature has been sabotaging me on a lot of fronts, that one included. My secondary tendency is "obliger," and so while as a rebel I resent having to have customers or clients, as an obliger secondary I'm a lot more likely to actually DO something if I've promised some not-me person that it will be done. So as weird as it may sound, one possibility I am looking at is that of a life coach.

The various aptitude tests I've gone though (such as the Highlands Ability Battery) always come up with "writer" at the top (for obvious reasons), but also tend of have "counselor" highly rated. My problem with that has always been the same reason I never became a veterinarian despite my love of animals: I have an overactive empathy, and I don't want to get tangled up in other people's (or creatures') trauma and pain. I know counselors often find it cathartic; I suspect I would just turn into an emotional wreck.

But a life coach? That's a different matter. First of all, it's not so personal. I don't need to know that someone was sexually abused by their neighbor as a child in order to help them become successful or build new lives. Furthermore, assuming I'm good at what I do, my "mission accomplished" moments will be success stories, where I've helped people create richer, fuller, and more satisfying lives and make the world a better place. Who wouldn't want that?

And, let's not mince words here, being good at it can also make you rich too, almost as a necessary side-effect. Who's going to be interested in getting you to help them get their lives in order, if you're living on what was supposed to be your retirement and hating your own life? Life coaching is one of the few professions where being rich and happy is actually a job requirement. XD

But the thing is? I think I could do it. As [personal profile] inkblitz says, I've got a lot of experience in life. The pain of losing so many people in so short a time, overcoming depression, denial, and deep-rooted self-worth issues, have certainly taught me a thing or two about getting through (and over) one's crap. And if [profile] jamesbarrett's sister's declaration that I am an indigo has any kind of truth beyond sheer crackpottery, then not only can I use my gifts to help the world, it is literally what I came to this planet to do.

Right now, I've got a lot to learn and figure out about the idea. I don't know the ins and outs of life coaching, or even how one gets trained in such things other than reading a lot of self-help books. ¬.¬ But I do have resources! Besides the entirety of the internet, I have my counselor to consult. She's a trained professional and I've spoken to her and I know she has colleagues who actually are life coaches. Plus, well, I work in a freakin' bookstore. I'm sure I can find some interesting and useful materials there! ;D

While I was sitting around waiting for my shift to start earlier today, I put together this as a preliminary to-do list on the topic:

  • Get life together ;P

  • How does one do it?

  • Make contacts/find mentors

  • What does it entail?

  • How make money?

  • Running a biz/managing money

  • Building a brand

  • Gotta deal w/ Rebel Tendency!

  • Possibly create a Rebel Tendency Support Group? ;)

So right now it looks like that's where the rest of my energy in 2018 is likely to go. Between all of that, and Laurie building her drone photography or other businesses, it's going to be a very interesting year​. But it's gonna be soooooo much better than the ones leading up to it have been!

I'm pretty darn excited, actually. :) It's really nice to be looking forward to my life again. But now, I need some sleep. G'nite world, and have an awesome tomorrow. Turkey Day tomorrow! Remember to go to Shout Factory starting at noon EST for the MST3K Turkey Day Marathon! We sure as heck will be.

-The Gneech
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Good morning, this is The Gneech, with your Monday Report.

The NaNoWriMo novel has reached 14,161 words, bringing my WPD to 1,180. Still roughly 6,000 words below par, so it's going to take several days of pushing to catch up.

However, my first day at Barnes & Noble is Thursday (or at least, orientation is), and I will probably get some crash training in preparation for "black Friday," so finding time to write may be a challenge. Further bulletins on this as events warrant.

[personal profile] laurie_robey and I made a banzai leaf-peeping trip to Maymont Park in Richmond on Friday, which was very nice. We used to love to go to Maymont Park when we lived there, and it is particularly beautiful in the fall. We also did a metric boatload of packing on Saturday, with more to come over the next week.

Saturday was the last D&D session until December sometime. Finally got to use a mind flayer! It was creepy and disgusting, so, mission accomplished!

My plans for today are: MOAR NaNoWriMo, and probably a commission for LKCMSL. Even tho I did say commissions were closed for November, this is a cover for his own NNWM project, so I made a particular exception. At some point I plan to check out Mastadon, which is basically billing itself as an ethical Twitter alternative. As nice an idea is that sounds, there's already such a crazy diaspora of social media, will there be any kind of a user base?

This has been your Monday report.

-The Gneech
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Wrote 2,194 words yesterday, bringing my wpd to 1,112. Still below par, but gaining ground quickly. I also had a couple of big "Aha!" moments about the plot and added more to the outline, which will make the next stretches go a lot faster.

Also need to prep for this weekend's D&D game and do an "Ask the Cast" or something for next week's SJ.

I... am busy. >.>

-The Gneech

Aww Yeah!

Nov. 8th, 2017 06:29 am
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NaNoWriMo hit 6,709 words as of yesterday, still below par but chugging along. :)

Also, I accepted a verbal offer of seasonal employment at Barnes & Noble as a bookseller. Not exactly something that will make me rich, but it will make up the difference for moving back to Virginia and get me some exercise and back out into the world again, which is a good start. I used to love working on the floor at Borders, and I can't imagine that part of the job has changed much.

Socially/politically yesterday was a big day, too, but I have little of substance to say on the matter beyond that right now other than "Aww yeah!"

So! Life is good. :) Have an awesome day, lovely readers.

-The Gneech
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With a good push yesterday, I brought my NaNoWriMo total up to 3,106 words, putting me only two days behind, so I should be able to catch up quickly. Today I'm going to put together a cover as well.

The new lease is officially signed, sealed and delivered. We are moving back to Reston in the week between Thanksgiving and Midwest Furfest, because why do anything when you can do EVERYTHING AT ONCE? ;D

Had my first live past-life regression session with my counselor yesterday. No exciting mystical experiences, alas, but it wasn't a complete waste: my subconscious chewed on things from the session overnight and gave me what I think are some useful insights about my behavior and reactions going forward.

I have a job interview tomorrow night. :) A part-time thing that would basically pay the difference for our rent going up to go back to Virginia, so not exactly a big bump moneywise, but still valuable for other reasons. Will say more when things are definite one way or the other. :)

Finally, this month's Patreon supporter pledges are in! <3 Thank you, all you awesome peeps, I am super grateful as always for your support and encouragement. ^.^

This has been your Gneech News Report. We now return you to your regular Dreamwidth feed, already in progress.

-The Gneech
the_gneech: (Default)

Milestone the First

After much wrangling and introspecting and generalized fretting, [personal profile] laurie_robey and I are moving back to Virginia! Specifically, to Reston. SirFox is a fine landlord, and if anyone is looking for a very reasonably-priced place in Germantown, drop me a line and we'll set you up. :) But for various reasons Maryland just isn't working for us.

This move also signals an indefinite pause on our California plans, for a variety of reasons I might get into in some other post. But for now, it's back to NoVA for us for the foreseeable future.

Milestone the Second

The files for the first Rough Housing collection are off to FurPlanet! It's gonna be pretty beefy at ~120 pages, and I'm not gonna lie, I love that cover.

Milestone the Third

NaNoWriMo starts on Wednesday! This will be my fourth whack at it (currently standing at 2/1) and will be an experiment: my first attempt at a furry novel. It's a fantasy featuring my little catfolk monk Kihai, my big catfolk barbarian Arshan, and a story something like Iron Monkey meets The Hidden Fortress. So, that should be fun. ;) But as of today, I have no outline, no supporting cast, and only a vague idea, so that's what I expect to be working on for the next couple of days. If the end result is good, I'll float it by FurPlanet as well! In the meantime, I'll be posting daily(-ish) progress reports to my Patreon for subscribers. :)

So! Life is good. And busy. I'll take it. :)

-The Gneech
the_gneech: (Default)
So, last week was a challenge. >.> Messed up sleep, a cat-in-crisis (Lady) dropped in our lap, job hunt frustration, and a general lack of fucks to give led to me basically chucking everything out the window (everything I could chuck, anyhow) and playing video games. (Other than Overwatch, because that particular game is often the opposite of relaxing.)

However, I only let myself do that with the promise that I would be back to work on Monday and get things done that need to be done. So step one is: organize! Thus, the Too Much To Do List for the next two weeks:

  1. Do some kind of workout.

  2. Take a shower and get dressed.

  3. Issue six page nine

  4. Job applications

  5. Blacktigr commission

  6. Overwatch competitive stream/Mastering Mercy vid

  7. Mooncat Timey-Wimey badge

  8. LKCMSL Timey-Wimey badge

  9. Graveyard Greg IBMBA commish (NOTE: send bill for this)

  10. PTBAF panel agenda

  11. Print for AC: button restocks, Best Bodies Contest flyer, Timey-Wimey badges

  12. BtA YouTube banner

  13. BtA Patreon banner

  14. Read books for Rainbow Awards

Right ho. Time to get started.

-The Gneech
the_gneech: (Default)
I have not read the new, badly-translated-from-Russian LJ user agreement that people have been talking about it, but LJ would not let me stay logged in unless I agreed to it.

I don't know how bad it is, but at this stage, I don't want to have anything to do with it. So I was auto-logged out, and that's pretty much it, I guess.

So long, LJ. I'll miss the you of 10-15 years ago.

-The Gneech
the_gneech: (Default)
The irony of "we didn't make enough money therefore we have a huge tax bill" makes me bang my head on the desk. And again, we've got the savings to cover it (in the form of retirement funds burning up), but we have reached the point where being unemployed has ceased to be a nuisance and become a serious problem. I have until now been concentrating my efforts on finding a job out in CA to facilitate going out there, but at this point, I don't feel like I can afford that luxury any more.

Not that there have been a whole lot of job prospects around here either; the election of Lord Dampnut has been a huge blow to most of the major job sectors around here except Murder Incorporated, and I'm not interested in joining that particular industry.

However, I am now opening my long-term job search up to other cities that have some appeal but were previously not under consideration, such as Richmond, Pittsburgh, and Boston. In the shorter term, I am going to spend the upcoming week hunting down and connecting to temp agencies, something which has had mixed results in the past– but mixed results are better than no results at all.

I'm frustrated and disgusted by the whole thing. What started out as feeling like life was taking unwanted turns some years ago, now feels like the wheels have completely come off and I'm just watching the wreck in slow motion. But there's no readily visible course of action to take to fix it, and honestly, there are no decisions made in the past I could point to that could have prevented it, either. The choices we made all along were the best ones with the information available to us at the time. So there aren't even lessons to be learned about it. There's just keeping calm and dragging on.

Drag, drag, drag.

-The Gneech
the_gneech: (Default)
I spent the morning grinding my gears on this stupid question of the test in SF, and eventually looked at it this way:

BEST CASE SCENARIO: I ace the test, they call me to fly out to SF again in a couple of weeks for interview, and if I get hired we start frantically moving, for a civil service job which while it would pay the bills is unlikely to be exactly thrilling or remunerative in one of the top three highest-rent places on the meta-flipping PLANET, causing me to probably be job hunting again in six months.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: I run up more debt on the credit card, don't get the job, have to cope with another discouraging rejection, and am still grinding away on the job hunt.

DETERMINING FACTORS: Who knows? I might be their star candidate and the test is a formality, they're just not allowed to say so. Or like I said before, they might have a chosen candidate already and are just forced to go through the "we tested other candidates" dance. Without at least having a phone interview first, I'm going in completely blind.

So all of it was a roll of the dice, and historically, dice are not kind to me. It's a recurring joke in my gaming circles, actually, that I create these crazy twinked-out powergaming characters, only to be constantly foiled by my inability roll higher than 33% of the desired result. I've long ago given up betting on anything but the most stacked-in-my-favor odds, and even then I prefer the sure thing if it's available.

But the worst part of it all, honestly, was the feeling of desperation. Being so set on the idea of some job, any job, out in CA, that I'd be willing to hop on a plane blind to the outcome, is just inviting the bad wolf to come and bite me in the neck. So I e-mailed the job contact asking if they had any options for remote testing. She replied that they didn't, so I thanked her for the opportunity and withdrew my application.

She said, "I'm sorry to hear this," which is the most information I've received about it one way or the other, but I also note that she's not sorry enough to try to change my mind, either. And I also didn't get the information until it was too late for it to be useful, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Identifying that feeling of desperation was the clinching factor me, tho. Frankly? I'm tired of chasing things. Whether it's a job, or a book sale, or trying to get someone I like to hang out with me, whatever it is. The never-ending pursuit of ______, sometimes to the point of going down crazy mental rabbit-holes, has got to stop.

Universe, you can start chasing me, instead.

I still want to go to California, but I'm not going to tie myself into knots to do it. I'm going to keep applying to jobs that will get me there in style, but I'm not going to enslave myself to the idea in the meantime. If it's just a matter of paying the bills, I can find work around here (or work that does not require an office at all) that will do that in the meantime.

It's kinda what I was getting at a while back about "How would California Gneech actually be different?" There's no point in setting myself up to be living a life of quiet desperation on the left coast instead of the right coast. At the end of the day, the externalities of where I am have less to do with my development and state of mind than the internalities of who I am. Until I can find and maintain my own core without worrying about what's going on around me, moving to California is like changing the cosmic desktop wallpaper. It is prettier, but it doesn't actually make things better.

-The Gneech

April 2019

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