Guinea Pig Bridge!
Oct. 10th, 2019 03:16 pmI love Parry Gripp so, so much.
(To the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire…” by Billy Joel)
Celedras, Arcangalad
Arshan’s always kinda mad
I haven’t played you for a while
Obsidian kills her foes with style
Maedhroc gives his foes the boot
Elsa’s tough but awfully cute
1E rules are dumb and hard
but they made my super-bard
(Singin’)
Referees don’t get to play much
We get all excited, tho we try to hide it
Referees don’t get to play much
But there’ll be no game, if I’m not DM
Playing Lachwen was a blast
but MMO fun doesn’t last
I don’t wanna spend the cash right now
to play my panda monk in WoW
But oh on tabletop to play again
Or just once for my paladin
The 3E rules were quite a cage
for Theran, my poor fighter-mage
My halfling ranger doesn’t have a name
I’d love to play him all the same
My human ranger had a plot device
but tough luck I suck at rolling dice
Natural 1’s all day!
No foes I’ll slay!
What else do I have to say?
(Singin’)
Referees don’t get to play much
We get all excited, tho we try to hide it
Referees don’t get to play much
But there’ll be no game
If I am not
DM…
(fade)
-The Gneech
Medium humanoid (human), neutral good
Armor Class 12
Hit Points 9 (2d8)
Speed 30′
Str 10/+0; Dex 14/+2; Con 10/+0; Int 14/+2; Wis 7/-2; Cha 15/+2
Skills Athletics +2, History +4, Performance +4, Persuasion +4, Religion +4
Proficiencies Automobile, Banjolele, Golf Clubs, Piano, Playing Cards, Trombone
Senses passive Perception 8
Languages English, French, Latin
Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)
Noblesse Oblige. Bertie has high social status and a substantial fortune inherited from his Uncle George.
Prompt Action Through Proper Channels. Bertie has advantage on ability checks and saving throws made to avoid or escape grapples.
Shimmy. Bertie has advantage on Athletics checks made to climb up or down drainpipes, knotted sheets, or other improvised climbing tools, or up onto furniture.
The Work of a Moment. Bertie may act on his initiative even when surprised, but only to move and take Dash or Disengage actions.
Distraction. Bertie attempts to befuddle a creature within 15′ that can comprehend a language he speaks. The creature must make a DC 14 Intelligence save. Success: The creature is unaffected. Failure: The creature becomes Stunned until the beginning of its next turn.
Medium humanoid (human), lawful good
Armor Class 10
Hit Points 28 (5d8+5)
Speed 30′
Str 12/+1; Dex 10/+0; Con 12/+1; Int 18/+4; Wis 16/+3; Cha 10/+0
Skills Deception +4, History +8, Insight +7, Intimidation +4, Investigation +8, Perception +7, Sleight of Hand +4, Stealth +4
Proficiencies Automobile, Darts, Fishing Tackle, Serving Tray, Sewing Tools
Senses passive Perception 17
Languages English, French, Latin
Challenge 1 (200 XP)
Concoction. Jeeves can brew up to three potions of vitality at will. Jeeves must have a long rest before he can use this ability again.
Discretion. Jeeves can escape notice at will. He may use the Hide action even when in plain sight as long as there is some form of distraction, and has advantage on Sleight of Hand or Stealth checks against members of the upper classes.
The Psychology of the Individual. Jeeves has advantage on a Deception, Insight, or Intimidation check made against a creature who is not a stranger to him. Jeeves must have a long rest before he can use this ability again.
Tact and Resource. By spending 10 minutes to study a problem, Jeeves gains advantage on an Insight, Investigation, or Perception check regarding it. Jeeves must have a long rest before he can use this ability again.
Kosh. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5′, one creature. Hit: 4 (1d4+1) damage, +18 (5d6) sneak attack damage if applicable, and the target must make a Constitution save with a DC equal to the damage dealt. Failure: The target is Stunned until the end of its next turn. If the target is reduced to 0 hit points by the attack, they are knocked unconscious, rather than killed.
Baffling Snare. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5′, one creature. Hit: The creature is blinded by being wrapped in a coat or other object around its head until the beginning of its next turn and must make a DC 12 Dexterity save. Failure: The creature is blinded and restrained until it succeeds at this saving throw. It can make a new attempt at the end of each of its turns.
-The Gneech