A Whale of a Tale! [1]

o/`
[chorus]
Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
a whale of a tale or two
'bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
on nights like this
with a moon above
a whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo!

There was Mermaid Minnie
met her down in Madagascar
she would kiss me
anytime that I would ask her
Then one evenin' her flame of love blew out
blow me down, and pick me up
she swapped me for a trout!

(chorus)

There was Typhoon Tessie
met her on the coast of Java
when she kissed me
I bubbled up like molten lava
Then she gave me the scare of my young life
blow me down, and pick me up
she was the Captain's wife!

(chorus)

Then there was Harpoon Hannah [2]
had a look that spelled out "danger"
my heart quivered
when she whispered "I'm there, stranger"
Bought her trinkets that a sailor can't afford
and when I'd spent my last red cent
she tossed me overboard!

(chorus)

Then there was Harpoon Hannah [3]
had a face that made you shudder
lips like fish-hooks, and a nose just like a rudder
Since I kissed and held her tenderly
there's no sea monster big enough
to ever frighten me!

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads!
A whale of a tale or two
'bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
on nights like this with the moon above
a whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo!
o/`

-The Gneech

[1] Al Hoffman (music) and Norman Gimbel (lyrics)
[2] This verse not used in the movie; it appeared on a record release.
[3] She musta had something, 'cause he went back to her!