Tom Lehrer's Paean to Spring

Spring is here! Spring is here!
Life is Skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring
I do! Don't you? 'course ya do!

But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
and makes every Sunday a treat for me...

All the world seems in tune
on a spring afternoon when
we're poisoning pigeons in the park!

Every Sunday you'll see
my sweetheart and me as
we poison the pigeons in the park!

When they see us coming
the birdies all try and hide
but they still go for peanuts
when coated with cyanide

The sun's shining bright
everything seems all right when
we're poisoning pigeons in the park, la-la!

We've gained notoriety
and caused much anxiety
in the Audubon Society
with our games

They call it impiety
and lack of propriety
and quite a variety
of unpleasant names

But it's not against any religion
to want to dispose of a pigeon!

So if Sunday you're free
why don't you come with me and
we'll poison the pigeons in the park

And maybe we'll do in
a squirrel or two while
we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment
except for the few we take home to experiment

My pulse will be quickenin' with
each drop of strychnine
we feed to a pigeon
—It just takes a smidgeon!—
to poison a pigeon in the park!

Oh Noes!

"You've been blocked from commenting in this journal." Was it something I said? O.o

-TG