Things That Make You Go "Buh?"

[the_gneech]

If the minivan about a pine cone usually competes with a mortician over the support group, then a skyscraper hides. Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the scythe. The cab driver for an industrial complex ostensibly is a big fan of a grain of sand. A hockey player seeks a steam engine. Now and then, an asteroid near a paper napkin pees on the boiled warranty.

Is it my imagination, or is spam getting weirder?

Telemarketers should try this technique, I think. Just for the entertainment value.

-The Gneech

Comments

[dennisthetiger.livejournal.com]

Man, I don't know about you, but I don't want nobody peeing on my boiled warranties. I'm trying to eat them, already!

[exatron.livejournal.com]

That sounds a rant from a crazy homeless guy.

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

I've heard that guy. He's a regular at Chicken and More.

Buggrit, buggrit... Millenium hand and shrimp!

Have teh best

-=TK

[3catsjackson.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute... those spammers ripped off my prose! That was from the chase scene in chapter 17 of my unpublished wombat, "The Filibustering Teaspoon Also Alliterates Asymptotes Acorrectly". I'm presently calling my dancing tomato lawyer on the telekinetic coat hanger device.

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

Did you also write this?

Have teh best

-=TK

[wbwolf.livejournal.com]

Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the scythe.

Truer words were never said.

[ben-mouse.livejournal.com]

Heck, I'm contemplating starting the nwesgroup "alt.fan.grainofsand."

[ben-mouse.livejournal.com]

...which of course is different from a -newsgroup.- :P

[the-lizard-rat.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I read that and immedately thought of Squash, actually. Seems like something like that would be going through his head normally...

Something like that would be prime fodder for writing a story --- trying to make all that WORK. Talk about a challenge :)

Lizard Rat out.
Boiling Warrenties in Albany NY

[sirfox.livejournal.com]

no, no... you've got it wrong.

WE should try it on the telemarketers.

"Hello?"

"good afternoon sir! i'm calling to offer you a prem-"

*interrupt* "If it takes ten thousand pancakes to shingle a doghouse, how long will it take a fly with a wooden leg to kick a hole through a pickle?"

"um, uh.. sir i.."

"the answer is a bicycle, because vests don't have sleeves." *hangup*

[jim-lane.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a perfectly normal modern math question to me--- ]};-)

[hossblacksilver.livejournal.com]

Well, first off, a real fruit cake seems to sum it right up.

But I got these type of e-mails about a year back. I kept on thinking of the animated Men in Black and a little something they called "QuickClones", fast made, short lived and always made no sense in the last 30-60 seconds before melt-down.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

They've reworked all the circuitry and programming, and now work off of Mad-libs exclusively...

[stilghar.livejournal.com]

Now I'm almost sad that my spam filter is so efficient.

Almost.
;)

[stilghar.livejournal.com]

Besides, warranties are best when fried or baked. Boiling makes the butterflies cry.