Fictionlet

[the_gneech]

Greg, sitting at the bar of the pass-through and working on a plate of scrambled eggs, looked down at the kitchen floor. There, Ozymandias was making short work of a dish of tic-tac-toe-shaped cat food. "You know," Greg said, "this cat is awesome."

"Oh?" said Brigid, not looking up from her newspaper.

"Indeed," Greg said. "Look at all the different ways he's awesome." He put down his fork and began counting off on his fingers. "First, he won't cut you off in traffic. And he won't honk his horn at you when you were clearly the one who had right-of-way."

"I suppose he won't, at that," Brigid said.

"He won't charge you too much for healthcare. He won't insist on putting a pickle on your sandwich when you very clearly said, 'No pickle.'"

"That's awesome, is it? You're easy to please."

Warming to the subject, Greg spread his hands. "He won't spell your name wrong. He won't irritate you by saying he 'could care less,' 'axing' you a question, or by putting a 't' in 'across.' And he won't try to put some kind of a guilt trip on you as if you were the jerk for getting annoyed at those things."

"He won't talk on his cellphone in the bathroom," Brigid added.

"He won't call you in the middle of the night, realize he's got the wrong number when you answer the phone, hang up without a word, and then dial your same stupid number again three minutes later," Greg continued.

"He won't insist on making text edits to the printer's blueline!"

"He won't rattle your windows from two blocks away with his stereo!"

"He won't schedule an hour meeting at 11:45!"

"He won't -- hey!" Greg jerked back in surprise; Ozymandias, apparently aware that they were talking about him, had jumped up onto the counter, and promptly sat in Greg's breakfast. "Cat--!"

Brigid smiled as Ozymandias began licking one of his own legs. "Yup," she said. "He's awesome all right."

-The Gneech

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Comments

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

First post! Woo!

I think Ozy's quite awesome indeed, and have thought so since he first appeared sleeping on Greg's face.

Now I'm wondering, does this imitate life? Has Buddha been awesome, then considered it an invitation to eat your eggs from his legfur?

Have the best

-=Kiyoshi

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

Buddha's never sat in my breakfast, although he did knock over my frappuccino once...

-The Gneech

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

*Gasp!* The spawn of satan!

Hehe. That, or Buddha's joined my campaign to save the world from the evils of caffine. ;)

Have the best

-=Kiyoshi

[laurie-robey.livejournal.com]

That reminds me of a Garfield bookmark (I may still have it) with the caption "I love scrambled eggs on a chilly morning." And Garfield was sitting in the eggs.

[oceansedge.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's a cat :)

moreso... that's Greg's cat (whether Greg's ready to accept that idea or not - the cat has adopted him)

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

No, Greg's Ozy's human.

Have the best

-=Kiyoshi

[kylet.livejournal.com]

Have a run-in with Buddha over breakfast, did you? ;-)

:::Looks at the timing of my post, compared to yours above::: Hee!

[exatron.livejournal.com]

Ozymandias, much like all felines, is made of win.

My cat just likes to give love bites.

[genecatlow.livejournal.com]

Okay, please speak to Harry Waller about his horrible song "I Hate Cats". >=)

[susandeer.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahaaa!

[hossblacksilver.livejournal.com]

Ozy: "What? You where complimenting me, so I decided to keep your breakfast warm for you."

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

This is why we don't allow our cat on the table. :}