My tweets

• Mon, 08:51: HNNNNG!!! *ded* https://t.co/dSlKNhDSic
• Mon, 08:58: Dear Internet: Stop with the “Ride eagles to Mt. Doom” thing. 1) They would have said no, 2) They wouldn’t have made it. It’s not a mystery.
• Mon, 09:05: #TIL “Zoot suit riots” were a real thing, and it was racist violence. -.- https://t.co/3qohv3jcQ9 Stupid world. :(
• Mon, 09:31: RT @TheMarySue: Reminder: Daylight Saving Time is actively harmful. https://t.co/FpcfLtN4WI
• Mon, 09:43: Some pretty amazing #Zootopia concept art. https://t.co/Gy0mDSM8yV
• Mon, 09:55: RT @AlanBaxter: That's it. I'm adopting this from now. Don't like it? Fortify, motherfucker. https://t.co/5flsG5rS7K
• Mon, 10:10: Yes. https://t.co/eqwrUbZRyk
• Mon, 10:46: RT @NotTube: What this bus driver lacks in whistling ability he makes up for in whistling stamina.
• Mon, 10:46: RT @pixelkitties: Even princesses need a makeover every now and then! https://t.co/98XyieORjn
• Mon, 10:47: RT @jamiesmart: Spider flan Spider flan Who the hell cooked A spider flan Cut a slice Then despair Eggy spiders Everywhere It's gross Who m…

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My tweets

• Tue, 09:31: Happy birthday, @deniseunicorn!
• Tue, 09:53: RT @trpeal: What is Conan's favorite web browser? Google Crom!
• Tue, 09:53: In which @malki has a think. https://t.co/jnlRvk4i2l
• Tue, 10:00: RT @goodreads: Sounds good to us! (via @ReadItForward) https://t.co/uIAgWLUrjV
• Tue, 10:32: Pretty sure the caption should be “FURRIES DRASTICALLY IMPROVE TITANIC." https://t.co/7vgDU8lIu7
• Tue, 10:43: Fictionlet: https://t.co/AfiOpIENX0
• Tue, 10:43: Fictionlet https://t.co/gjadnelH67
• Tue, 10:55: I actually wrote two Fictionlets this morning, but the first one was a little too “on point.” Fictionlets should be light and fun. :)
• Tue, 11:29: RT @OnionPolitics: Confounded Pollsters Admit There No Way Of Predicting Mercurial Behaviors Of Beguiling Female Vote https://t.co/sg2a5EIE…

Fictionlet

Brigid stalked the edges of the party, looking like nothing so much as a panther looking for a baby rabbit to gobble down. Finally she spotted the rabbit in question, to wit Greg, who was in the center of a cluster of people, holding them spellbound as he told them some ridiculous anecdote. She instantly made her way to him.

“…and so she pulled out a lighter and said, ‘Lean down here so I can set you on fire,'” Greg was saying, as Brigid elbowed her way through the crowd.

“C’mon,” she said, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go.”

“It’s only 9:30,” Greg said.

“Yeah,” said Brigid, “which means I’ve been here a whole 45 minutes and my oath not to commit murder is wearing thin. Let’s go.”

“Fine, fine,” said Greg, and turned back to the faces eagerly hoping for more snappy stories. “Sorry, all. But She Who Must Be Obeyed speaks, and I’m the one driving the car. Good night!”

Coats retrieved, they slipped out into the night. “I do get tired of you wanting to end every party before it begins,” Greg said. “You realize these binges are my main point of contact with the outside world, right?”

“Sorry,” said Brigid, as he unlocked the door. “Work has been bad. We’ll stay longer next time, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” said Greg, as they got in the car.

“For all your time spent alone, you know how to work a crowd,” Brigid said as they pulled out into traffic.

“Well that particular crowd was not a particularly discerning bunch,” said Greg. “I’ve learned that the secret to success, is to only hang around people who are easily impressed.”

“Uh huh,” said Brigid.

-The Gneech

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