Personal Devils
Apr. 26th, 2002 09:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_gneechIf people have guardian angels, is it also possible they have personal devils, too? It would explain much about my life if that were the case. It would also explain why I often get the distinct notion that the universe is laughing at me.
Those of you who knew me when I worked at LifeMinders will probably remember how stressed out I got working there, because the job basically started taking over my life. I'd go in early, stay late, and sometimes work all weekend, then try to eke out SJ during the few hours I was home before I slipped unwillingly into an exhausted slumber.
I considered that to be a bad situation, and I worked hard to get out of it. And I managed to succeed for a while -- in lieu of an annual raise for the last year I worked there, I arranged it so that I always had Mondays off, no matter what hours I worked the rest of the week. It was still busy and stressful sometimes, but I always had Monday. Of course, by the end of the job, the dot-com industry was so dead that we spent most of our time sitting around anyway, which is why I spent so much of my time there learning Wing Chun from Jay.
Enter my personal devil.
After being laid off from LFMN, I spent several weeks nose-to-the-grindstone trying to teach myself enough Java to find some sort of entry level job in that field. I basically did that as if it were a full-time job, until I reached a stage where I couldn't learn any more on my own and needed training.
Alas, at that stage, my severance pay was running low, so I couldn't risk spending it on training, so I started looking for work instead. And there was none.
And more none.
And still more none.
Eventually, I gave up looking for an entry-level position doing Java, because there is no such thing. So I started looking for graphics, figuring I had those skills already. But there was none.
And more none.
And still more none.
Eventually, I gave up looking for a specific type of work at all, and just wanted something. Temp agencies had nothing, resumes went without response, and phone calls were basically answered, "Don't call us, we'll call you." I don't know why; nobody had specific reasons. How I went from being in great demand, to being an employment untouchable, I have no clue.
So I ended up at Starbucks -- because they would take me. That is a bloody depressing thought. And I can just hear that personal devil giggling, too. "You thought it was bad turning over your whole life to that dot-com company? Just wait until you're in the same situation -- but at one-third the salary! Aaaaahahhahahaaaa!!!"
He's an obnoxious little bastard. If I ever figure out a way to the infernal planes, I'm going to make sure he suffers for this.
-The Gneech
Those of you who knew me when I worked at LifeMinders will probably remember how stressed out I got working there, because the job basically started taking over my life. I'd go in early, stay late, and sometimes work all weekend, then try to eke out SJ during the few hours I was home before I slipped unwillingly into an exhausted slumber.
I considered that to be a bad situation, and I worked hard to get out of it. And I managed to succeed for a while -- in lieu of an annual raise for the last year I worked there, I arranged it so that I always had Mondays off, no matter what hours I worked the rest of the week. It was still busy and stressful sometimes, but I always had Monday. Of course, by the end of the job, the dot-com industry was so dead that we spent most of our time sitting around anyway, which is why I spent so much of my time there learning Wing Chun from Jay.
Enter my personal devil.
After being laid off from LFMN, I spent several weeks nose-to-the-grindstone trying to teach myself enough Java to find some sort of entry level job in that field. I basically did that as if it were a full-time job, until I reached a stage where I couldn't learn any more on my own and needed training.
Alas, at that stage, my severance pay was running low, so I couldn't risk spending it on training, so I started looking for work instead. And there was none.
And more none.
And still more none.
Eventually, I gave up looking for an entry-level position doing Java, because there is no such thing. So I started looking for graphics, figuring I had those skills already. But there was none.
And more none.
And still more none.
Eventually, I gave up looking for a specific type of work at all, and just wanted something. Temp agencies had nothing, resumes went without response, and phone calls were basically answered, "Don't call us, we'll call you." I don't know why; nobody had specific reasons. How I went from being in great demand, to being an employment untouchable, I have no clue.
So I ended up at Starbucks -- because they would take me. That is a bloody depressing thought. And I can just hear that personal devil giggling, too. "You thought it was bad turning over your whole life to that dot-com company? Just wait until you're in the same situation -- but at one-third the salary! Aaaaahahhahahaaaa!!!"
He's an obnoxious little bastard. If I ever figure out a way to the infernal planes, I'm going to make sure he suffers for this.
-The Gneech
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no subject
That would logically follow.
However, and fortunately, neither is true.
What IS true is that the minds of intelligent, creative people give them more trouble than do the minds of simpler folk.
Your brain is a powerful tool indeed. Rather like a chainsaw, perhaps. You can cut through a lot, and carve wonderful things from the same material that would otherwise be just lumps in others' imaginations.
But holding this thing by the wrong end is uncomfortable.
Back when I ran restaurants, years ago, if a person came to me and said:
"Hey, I've got a situation going where I need to take off this day, or this block of time, on a regular basis. I want to be a good employee, and keep my other obligations going well -- how can we work this out?"
I was always able to work out a mutually satisfactory arrangement. Is there any possibility of some similar deal with your boss at Starbucks?
I have my own situation going on this morning, so I'll be out of touch for a while. Were I mean spirited, I'd say something like "I wish my life were as simple as yours." ;) But this is not the way I feel. Instead, I wish you success in getting control of your life, and your enjoyment of it, and your success at it.
But I wouldn't be offended if mine got simpler... ;)
===|==============/ Level Head
===|==============/ Level Hea
no subject
Next thing you know, you'll be saying "I don't believe in faeries," and Mopsy will come after you with a nerf bat.
-The Gneech
no subject
Date: 2002-04-27 11:07 am (UTC)I worry about you. This produces a fairly predictable result: When you make a post that seems to be a quest for help, I try to help. Not that it works... but it gives me something to think about.
Many of your insights are intriguing. And many of your perceptions of life are born of frustrations that I am very familiar with, and think I've learned something about getting past. it is hard to convey this in any useful way.
Regarding Mopsy, even I wouldn't have the nerf to say that! ;)
===|==============/ Level Head
no subject
Date: 2002-04-28 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-26 08:36 am (UTC)Tell you're personal Demon to fork off. He'll fall over laughing at that and while he's distracted, Zap him with a holy word or two. Smarting, he'll leave, if only for a short while, but during that while, you can wrest some control back of your life and thumb your nose at him when he returns. -Frisk
no subject
Date: 2002-04-26 09:21 am (UTC)Now, about the jobs...
You seem to me to be the type of person that throws yourself 110% into whatever you're doing. This is a great thing, and it makes your supervisors really happy, but it wears on you. I know how difficult it is in the food service industry to get time off from it (and now that I've had five weeks of it in the last two months, I'm completely broke, and bored to tears). But you may want to consider taking a real vaction, not just a vacation from comics. I mean go somewhere fun, sunny, and playful, and forget about what's going on back here. Save up for it, so you can do so, and go enjoy yourself! It doesn't have to be a two-week affair, you could just take a long weekend. But get out and relax!!! :) And when you get back, keep that extra ten percent for yourself, and only give Starbucks 100%.
no subject
no subject
Date: 2002-04-26 04:04 pm (UTC)Deteriorata
Date: 2002-04-26 11:12 am (UTC)You are a fluke of the Universe....
You have no right to be here...
Deteriorata
Deteriorata
Go placidly amid the noise & waste, & remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself and heed well their advice even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.
Whenever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big fortune in computer
maintenance.
You are a fluke of the Universe....
You have no right to be here...
Whether you can here it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you. That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan, and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese, and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke of the Universe
You have no right to be here
Whether you can here it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be: Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, & urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
You are a fluke of the Universe....
You have no right to be here...
Whether you can here it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
(By Tony Hendra Found in an old National Lampoon: Dated 1972 )
Re: Deteriorata
Re: Deteriorata
Guard yourself for true!
===|==============/ Level Head