Challenger

[the_gneech]

I was home from high school for reasons I don't recall now; it was the first shuttle launch I'd had the opportunity to watch live.

As always, there were delays, random countdown stops, etc., but finally it launched.

Cool. :)

It climbed, climbed, started turning.

bzzt

It was a ball of smoke, with two self-eating booster rockets going off randomly.

No kaboom, no flash, no nothing.

Just bzzt. And commentators wondering what the hell was going on.

I was startled, and sorta confused. But I wasn't upset.

Not until about three years later, I was watching Koyaanisqatsi, with its climax sequence, of a single piece of debris cast off from the explosion and tracked, presumably, by a chase plane or helicopter.

Falling.

Turning.

Falling.

Turning.

Falling.

Turning.

Falling.

Turning.

Falling.

Turning.

While bass voices chanted "Koyaanisqatsi" [1] over and over again.

Falling.

Turning.

Falling.

Turning.

Falling.

Turning.

God, somebody, make it STOP.

Then I cried my eyes out.

It wasn't until 9/11 that I had that feeling again, that deep, bottom-of-your-soul grief. It's not a feeling I am eager to experience again any time soon.

-The Gneech

[1] Hopi: "Life out of balance."

Comments

[susandeer.livejournal.com]

I remember that day. I was in Middle School. I remember seeing it while working in the library. I don't think any other classes had borrowed a tv to watch the launch. I really don't remember much of the rest of the day. Just a few random faces looking at me with WTF expressions.

I've cringed with every shuttle launch since.

[softpaw.livejournal.com]

I've not seen the film you mention. But..it sounds like its something that would effect me as well.

Your way of describing it was very..evocative.

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

You know the concept of the Total Perspective Vortex? Taken seriously, that's Koyaanisqatsi. It's not enough sense of proportion to kill you, but enough that you shouldn't operate a motor vehicle right away.

[dennisthetiger.livejournal.com]

That single piece of debris, was it the cockpit?

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

No idea. As near as I can recall it was roughly cubic, silvery-gray, size unknown but it had to be large enough for a chase plane cameraman to track it.

-The Gneech

[cyberhorn.livejournal.com]

they know for fact that the crew were alive after the explosion (as has been revealed in various reports) but died when the cockpit hit the ocean and flooded

some o the things i wish i could forget

[kamau-d-lyon.livejournal.com]

I have it from someone who has done an extensive amount of photography for NASA that there is tracking camera footage of the cockpit falling. I'm not sure if Shockwave could verify this or not. I know when I reran the video tape I had of the explosion there was a fairly distinct piece that from it's place immediately after the blast I felt was the crew compartment. I still feel a pit in my stomach when I see the footage and even if I don't see the pictures the words "Go at throttle up" fill me with sadness.

[frustratedpilot]

The end of Koyaanisqatsi--the debris was a booster component...with fire still in the thrust cone (at least as I remember). The movie was made long before the Challenger accident. The rocket was an Atlas (IIRC) which was scrubbed maybe thirty or forty seconds after launch. In the movie, the whole event was uncut--launch, boost, malfunction, scrub, falling debris.

I recommend the movie as it is an acid test for large TVs.

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

Really! Hmm. Well, it has been a long time. I guess my brain just transposed the Challenger as an emotional reaction.

-TG

[cyberhorn.livejournal.com]

kyrin wonders why 9/11 bothered me so much

chalenger still bothers me

i just cant belive its been 20 years it seems only a few weeks ago

[laurie-robey.livejournal.com]

I was living in the Gladding Residence Center at VCU at the time. I went down to the laundry room to put in a load of clothes, then went back up to the apartment. I had the TV on in my half of the room, and I remember standing there with the laundry basket still in my hands just staring at the TV screen.

[jamesbarrett.livejournal.com]

I heard about it the next day, when I went to bug Mongo some more. Otherwise, I might never have know anything happened at all. Or when the two of you started talking about it. It was high school, wasn't it? -Frisk

[vrghr.livejournal.com]

I was active duty military, working maintenance at an installation that supported a mobile early-warning system. We routinely tracked the known US launches as practice.

Usually, the ops crew would be all bouncy and boisterous after a successful launch event - they're a lot like military pilots after a successful sorty. This time, the whole crew left the van en'mass and headed silently toward our command support building. The maintenance folks on the pad immediately knew something was up - the crew NEVER leave the van unattended during ops!

In minutes we were all in our break-assembly room, and the crew commander was briefing what they'd seen. There was no mistaking what had happened. The energy spike was so intense, it registered as an impact instead of a boost.

Then we got permission to fire up the break room's TV (normally only turned on during lunch or special events). They were running re-runs of the launch...

There was a feeling of denial, disbelief, anger, and profound sadness in the room. And for such a large group of hot-blooded gung-ho military types, it was very, very quiet.

<><><>

On 9/11, I was out of the service, but still doing military support. We were at a contractor's plant in New Hampshire, doing a quality check on a new mission system. We were all "locked up" in a secure area of the building, with no contact to the outside beyond a few phones. Then an admin person came in, and announced an aircraft had hit one of the world trade towers. We were shocked at such a tragic accident, and wondered how many might end up being killed or injured, but we went back to work.

Then came word that the second plane had struck. And rumors of another one hitting Washington DC. The same denial, disbelief, and anger as during Challenger set in. But the sadness was much shorter lived. It was quickly replaced by a kind of energetic 'organized chaos'. Most of us were military or ex-military, and those who weren't were defense-industry types with a long background in DoD associations. The first thing out of someone's mouth was "This is an attack."

We knew we were in a plant with a rather well-known reputation as defense support. No one knew how wide spread the attack was, or who else might be in jeopardy, but we all knew there was a chance we were among those being targeted. In a surprisingly short time, the normally open, publicly accessible plant had been turned into a restricted access, patrolled, and locked-down area.

Over the next few days, we went through quite a bit. Nearly all of us at that meeting had flown there, and now all the air travel had been grounded. We all dealt with the situations, making our way back home to our bases and offices as best and fast as we could. Some of the military folks, in their own initiative, pooled together and hired a single one-way rental car per group, driving all the way across the country in rotating shifts and sleeping in the back seat so they could get to their home units faster.

Unlike Challenger, for most of us at that plant on 9/11, the grief didn't really hit home until much later. The immediate future was filled with a resolve to be ready for whatever was coming next, and to get ourselves back to the home bases where we knew we'd be needed. Grieving needed to wait in line behind anger and action.

[kamau-d-lyon.livejournal.com]

It saddens me to see this or other space disasters but what deepens it for me is where we appear to be now. In recent years we seem to be backing away from going into space, at least in manned flights.
I'll let people read this to see more of my feelings. I feel like we are backsliding. Returning to conventional throw away launch vehicles when there are proven designs for reusable ones. We are afraid to take the risks that need to be taken to meet the challenge of space. If we are to truly honor these fallen explorers we need to move forward on the same path for which they gave their lives.

[camstone.livejournal.com]

I was in the labs when that happened. Our engineering group was called in to do some of the analysis for NASA as an independent review group.

Some of the data we heard and learned... was truely chilling.

And the acrid smell of the Pentagon burning still stings my nostrils.

I end up crying when I am alone now... it seems to be the only way I can "get on with life" at times.

[hallan.livejournal.com]

I was watching when it blew up, too. But it didn't really click until later...

At the local festival that summer, they had a float commemorating it, titled 'Countdown to Heaven'.

I started bawling. :(

Hallan

[carlhh.livejournal.com]

I was in elementary school. My school was so small and rural each teacher taught 2 grades at once. To give you an idea about how "unwired" that school was, the addition of an intercom scratchier than the worst drive thru you've ever been to was considered a giant step up. My eyesight was still 20/20 at the time, so I was still thinking I might be pilot or even an astronaut.

We were supposed to watch it live, but the teacher couldn't get the TV to work. We had the usual 3rd/4th grade "Awwww man!" reaction and the rest of the day was a normal school day. Then I got home and Pop told me the space shuttle blew up.