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Time to Refresh... My Stuff
Mar. 29th, 2025 10:05 pmIncluding this page! I'm not sure what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it, but I've been having a kind of an odd slow-motion epiphany over the past few weeks, that more or less boils down to "The world is gonna do what the world is gonna do, and wishing it would do something else isn't going to help."
Sounds obvious when I write it down in black and white, I know, but that's kinda the point of an epiphany, you finally actually understand something you've known intellectually all along.
This doesn't mean fatalism or just passively accepting anything that comes my way—I'm not about to just roll over and not try to create things or make the world a better place. But it does mean decoupling my thoughts and emotions from outcomes, and doing my best to let go of "I wish it woulda..."
For example! This very page. This is the rather pale ghost of my LiveJournal, which in its heyday was a major and vibrant part of my life. It was rare that I went a day without posting at least something, and it was much more common to post two or three times over the course of the day. I felt like I had a lot to say, and I felt like people were listening, and there were a lot of other people on my feed that I wanted to hear from.
It was great, and I loved it, but it's gone and not coming back. I can either lament that and wish it wasn't so, or I can look at Dreamwidth, here and now, for what it is, and decide what (if anything) I want out of it.
Right now, I don't know. These days a lot of what I would have posted to LiveJournal goes either to my Patreon, to Mastodon, or to my Discord community. Does this Dreamwidth page offer something that they can't or don't? That's the kind of thing I'm thinking about.
No conclusions yet. :)
-The Gneech
Sounds obvious when I write it down in black and white, I know, but that's kinda the point of an epiphany, you finally actually understand something you've known intellectually all along.
This doesn't mean fatalism or just passively accepting anything that comes my way—I'm not about to just roll over and not try to create things or make the world a better place. But it does mean decoupling my thoughts and emotions from outcomes, and doing my best to let go of "I wish it woulda..."
For example! This very page. This is the rather pale ghost of my LiveJournal, which in its heyday was a major and vibrant part of my life. It was rare that I went a day without posting at least something, and it was much more common to post two or three times over the course of the day. I felt like I had a lot to say, and I felt like people were listening, and there were a lot of other people on my feed that I wanted to hear from.
It was great, and I loved it, but it's gone and not coming back. I can either lament that and wish it wasn't so, or I can look at Dreamwidth, here and now, for what it is, and decide what (if anything) I want out of it.
Right now, I don't know. These days a lot of what I would have posted to LiveJournal goes either to my Patreon, to Mastodon, or to my Discord community. Does this Dreamwidth page offer something that they can't or don't? That's the kind of thing I'm thinking about.
No conclusions yet. :)
-The Gneech
