Fictionlet

[the_gneech]

Brigid shook her head. "Some of these slash chicks are just ridiculous," she said. "I guess it's just harmless silliness when they realize it's all in their heads, but some of them seem to think they've unlocked some secret code that the author 'would have put there if narrow-minded society would let them.'"

"Uh huh," said Greg.

"Forgetting for the moment that a lot of slash writers' favorite targets were hardly averse to saying exactly what they meant," Brigid said, "there's the little matter that not everybody in the universe is fixated on sweaty fictional guy-on-guy action the way they are."

"No!" said Greg. "I can't believe that, surely not!"

She narrowed her eyes at him, smiling slightly. "But I guess it's like anything else -- when you expect to see something, you'll see it whether it's there or not. I bet somewhere out there right now there's some James Bond fan who's rewriting the scene in Goldfinger's basement in her mind as a guard-seduction scene."

"Goldfinger's basement?"

"Yeah ... Bond waves, winks, and gives a very pecular smile at the Chinese guard. To the slash writer mind, this is practically an overt declaration that Bond bedding every woman in the world is just him overcompensating ... and obviously the guard's first thought is, 'Whoa, James Bond is totally coming on to me!'"

Greg chuckled. "At which point, Tiger Tanaka comes running up and cries, 'But, Bond-san! I love you!' Maybe Bond just has a thing for Asian guys."

Brigid winced. "Oh God," she said.

-The Gneech

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Comments

[confusedoo.livejournal.com]

Oh, and there was another scene, I'm not sure but I think it was in "You Only Live Twice" where bond was sharing a Japanese style bath with an asian guy and talking about chest hair. Granted, they were talking about whether women liked it or not, but people make Jeeves and Wooster slash based on much less.

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's Tiger Tanaka again.

-TG

[drezzer-wolf.livejournal.com]

Maybe Tiger Tanaka just has a thing for British guys. ;)

Cheers,
Drez

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

Hush, you! ;P

-TG

[nekura-ca.livejournal.com]

Well, how could anyone resist that sexy accent? ^_^

[confusedoo.livejournal.com]

Heh. The whole Bond persona is based on him being so suave and sexy that no one can resist him, whethere it be a women he wants to bed or a wager with a supervillain. Can you blame a guy for falling for someone with that much charisma?

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

Well, that gives a whole new meaning to the scene where Auric asks Pussy Galore to bring Bond out for a Mint Julap...

Have the best

-=TK

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

*grateful laughter*

[kylet.livejournal.com]

I'd have some kind of clever comment here if my brain decided to agree with whatever time it's supposed to be x.x

Hee hee, though.

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

I'd give you a witty response, but same deal.

-TG

[rhanlav.livejournal.com]

That reminds me of my last outing over at Tyger and Simtra's place. They were showing a marathon of Bond, and you well, its pretty bad when you have the three of us laughing at some of the lines from the movies. Sure, this was back in the 60s, but still, they were pretty bad, but in a funny way.

--Double 0 Salen

[frostdemn.livejournal.com]

*Snrk* Another stroke of genius in this painting of life...

[hossblacksilver.livejournal.com]

First off, good to see Greg and Brigid again.

Secondly, of course he couldn't it was Sean Connery. Only he and Bronson where the only Bonds that could pull off the Bond-brand (tm) smooooth.

Third, "You Only Live Twice" (the song) is now playing in my head. Well, it's one of the better songs to have caught in one's brain.

Fourth, "You Only Live Twice" (the movie) is one of my favorites, especially Neilly. The suitcase that transforms into an attack chopper. The only thing I liked better in a Bond movie is at the end of "GoldenEye" where the Marines pop up out of nowhere. Though that I admit is due to my brother being a Jarhead.