A Random Musing or Two, Then Off to Bed
Nov. 4th, 2002 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_gneechDo you remember the Going Postal Hoedown? That was something I came up with the other day at work; it was my duty to inform everyone in the office that mail had been delivered, and so I sent that out as a mass e-mail. It wasn't that hard to come up with, actually ... I happened to be thinking about a Jazz Butcher ditty called "The Devil Is My Friend," which is a strange little hoedown about meeting the devil in a bar, and I just came up with words to fit the tune that went to the same piece of music. I do that sort of thing all the time.
Sometime later that afternoon, one of the women in the office came up to me and said, "Are you that creative at home, too? Your mind must just always be going -- I mean, who would have thought of a hoedown to announce that the mail was in!"
Well, yeah, I guess my mind pretty much is always going, but it's not like there's anything that special about it. Really, anybody could do the sort of things that I do, from the writing to the cartooning to coming up with little ditties ... all it is, is taking a little piece of this, a little piece of that, and possibly a smidgeon of the other and putting them together, one bit at a time. You start with the very, very simple, and you just build up one layer and then another, and so forth, until you've got what you want. Then people come along and see the final product, without seeing any of the bazillion little steps that led up to it, and say, "Wow, that's amazing, I wish I could do something like that!"
I sometimes think that the only thing that separates me from those other people, if indeed anything does, is that I think, "Wow, that's amazing, how did they do that?" ... and then I try to figure it out.
You ever see somebody working a lathe? Seeing somebody machine a part out a solid block of aluminum, now that looks like magic to me -- but at the same time, I don't boggle in wonder. If it can be done by mortal man, then surely I can do it -- once I figure out how.
What really impresses me, more than anything else, is the willingness to make the effort. I encounter so many people, with so much potential, who just let it go to waste because they don't do anything. Many of them wander from want to want, or from impulse to impulse, living their lives like a donkey being led by a carrot on a stick. Even for somebody who has an instinctive belief in reincarnation, the concept of letting any of your short-oh-God-so-very-SHORT life just slip away like that, is horrific.
This is why I hate to go to bed at night; it's also why I run myself into the ground, as has been observed. Life is finite, and the time between now and dead is ticking away at the knuckle-whitening speed of 86,400 seconds per day -- not to mention the fact that there's no way to know how much you've got LEFT! I've got to pack all the being alive in that I can, because someday it will be gone, and I'll miss it!
No you won't, you'll be dead. There won't be any consciousness there to miss it.
Good God on a pogo stick! Do you think that concept makes me feel any better???
When my depression was at its worst, when my self was at its lowest ebb and I was vulnerable, there were times when I wanted to be hit by a truck. Now that I'm through that, I am occasionally frightened by just how easy it was for a few bits of bad chemical mojo in my brain to put me there.
I love the world, and I'm grateful to be in it ... for however many ticking seconds I have left. :)
I just hope I'm right about the reincarnation thing ... but the kicker is, even if I am, I'll never know. :P
-The Gneech <-- would be happy to go to an afterlife of any kind
Sometime later that afternoon, one of the women in the office came up to me and said, "Are you that creative at home, too? Your mind must just always be going -- I mean, who would have thought of a hoedown to announce that the mail was in!"
Well, yeah, I guess my mind pretty much is always going, but it's not like there's anything that special about it. Really, anybody could do the sort of things that I do, from the writing to the cartooning to coming up with little ditties ... all it is, is taking a little piece of this, a little piece of that, and possibly a smidgeon of the other and putting them together, one bit at a time. You start with the very, very simple, and you just build up one layer and then another, and so forth, until you've got what you want. Then people come along and see the final product, without seeing any of the bazillion little steps that led up to it, and say, "Wow, that's amazing, I wish I could do something like that!"
I sometimes think that the only thing that separates me from those other people, if indeed anything does, is that I think, "Wow, that's amazing, how did they do that?" ... and then I try to figure it out.
You ever see somebody working a lathe? Seeing somebody machine a part out a solid block of aluminum, now that looks like magic to me -- but at the same time, I don't boggle in wonder. If it can be done by mortal man, then surely I can do it -- once I figure out how.
What really impresses me, more than anything else, is the willingness to make the effort. I encounter so many people, with so much potential, who just let it go to waste because they don't do anything. Many of them wander from want to want, or from impulse to impulse, living their lives like a donkey being led by a carrot on a stick. Even for somebody who has an instinctive belief in reincarnation, the concept of letting any of your short-oh-God-so-very-SHORT life just slip away like that, is horrific.
This is why I hate to go to bed at night; it's also why I run myself into the ground, as has been observed. Life is finite, and the time between now and dead is ticking away at the knuckle-whitening speed of 86,400 seconds per day -- not to mention the fact that there's no way to know how much you've got LEFT! I've got to pack all the being alive in that I can, because someday it will be gone, and I'll miss it!
No you won't, you'll be dead. There won't be any consciousness there to miss it.
Good God on a pogo stick! Do you think that concept makes me feel any better???
When my depression was at its worst, when my self was at its lowest ebb and I was vulnerable, there were times when I wanted to be hit by a truck. Now that I'm through that, I am occasionally frightened by just how easy it was for a few bits of bad chemical mojo in my brain to put me there.
I love the world, and I'm grateful to be in it ... for however many ticking seconds I have left. :)
I just hope I'm right about the reincarnation thing ... but the kicker is, even if I am, I'll never know. :P
-The Gneech <-- would be happy to go to an afterlife of any kind
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no subject
I hear this occasionally about my own little poetic and lyrical musings from time to time. But actually, they are quite easy to do unless planned...
You have lots of creative capability, born of innate ability and honed by long effort to turn it into trained skill. Parts of this require discipline, and part of it resent this discipline. Often enough, they're the same parts, aren't they?
On the other hand, I, without your artistic talent (I did my first painting Saturday...squawk!) do know how to operate a lathe. It does not require artistic talent, and would be easy for you to learn since I was able to learn it. I am interested, very much, in learning new things, and while my "mundane" tasks (which are not, in fact) require learning I do like to stretch in other ways as well.
I agree completely with your notion of the preciousness of life, but am untroubled by the concept of it ending when it does without a "next act".
I am in no hurry: Dum vivimus, vivamus!
===|==============/ Level Head
no subject
Date: 2002-11-05 01:17 am (UTC)http://lysy2.archives.nd.edu/cgi-bin/words.exe?+Dum+vivimus%2C+vivamus%21
Saves the day every time
CYa!
Mako
Re:
Date: 2002-11-05 07:54 am (UTC)Oho! Excellent link. Bookmarked, thanks!
But you would have done better to simply look up the phrase using Google:
"While we live, let us live!"
I wasn't trying to be obscure, really. The book "Glory Road" describes a sword that bears this inscription -- and that sword and inscription both get a lot of use. It's an excellent multidimensional sword-and-sorcery fantasy romp, running from Viet Nam to the Italian Rivera to Hollywood by way of the Planet of Star and The Battle For The Egg.
Quite a good story, actually.
===|==============/ Level Head
no subject
Date: 2002-11-04 09:22 pm (UTC)=^_^=
Don't worry, you are VERY far along in your art life. =P Something I hope to aspire to be. =3
no subject
Uh, just to be crass before I go to bed, Are you sure she wasn't hitting on you?
no subject
no subject
Date: 2002-11-05 04:49 am (UTC)That's a feeling I know well. Remember when we used to walk places after school and I'd purposely walk on the side of the road that made it easiest for cars to hit me and run me over?
I don't do that anymore. But I do remember the feeling.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-05 06:13 am (UTC)I understand about hating to sleep as well. I wish sometimes that I was an insomniac so I could have more time to do a few things. But without at least 7 hours of sleep a night, I am as mentally sharp as a bowl of warm tapioca. Also, those nights I have been sleepless, I found that the energy deficit was still a problem.
My solution? Do what I can and not worry about what I cannot.
good seeing you again, Leonard Lion. Been ages :)
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'course, it's been a long time since I went by "Leonard..." :)
-The Gneech ("Obi-Wan? That's a name I've not heard in a long time...")
no subject
Date: 2002-11-05 06:25 am (UTC)The mortality factor sucks; my father's life was cut off in its prime and I find myself having the occasional "mortality attack", lying awake at night not wanting to sleep because I'm afraid that I'll never wake up and never have another day in the world. I've since tried to adopt an attitude more like my Swedish grandfather's; he told me that you only have a finite number of years on the planet, no matter what happens, and you can't change that so you might as well enjoy each one as though it were the last.
Reincarnation? I have personal proof that it exists, based on an odd encounter in a Salem, Massachusetts graveyard (remind me to tell you the tale some day) but it's personal proof, meaning it's subjective to you and probably wouldn't help. Suffice it to say I believe because in the course of my life it's been demonstrated.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-05 08:48 am (UTC)no subject
Its what defines us.
Date: 2002-11-05 09:42 am (UTC)Your artistic ability, creativity, wisdom, an drive, thats all you. either gained from the soul, or from life experiance you went htruogh. Its who you are, an makes you special.
Its seen as amazing to others, because they dont have it, yes thats obvious. An to you, it seems like everyday nonsense, because your used to it.
For example, my friend Tobias in germany, never heard of a peanut butter an jelly sandwhich, an thinks its extreamly strange. But we think its everyday normal. The same can be applie to your veiw of yourself. You'v been around yourself longer then anyone else have. All things you do, is normal, without special light.
But to everyone else who cant do it, or understand it, its seen as special. Its who you are.
Not to say your better or worse then anyone, your equal. but also unique.
The fact of the matter is. It takes many years for somone to "Know thyself". Its easier to figure out a friend, then to understand oneself to full degree in most cases.
But, thats what friends are for. So find ones you trust the most, an listen to there veiw! Yep yep! Because we like you! (hey, that Rhyms. ^.^)
In fortune solio
sederam elatus
prosperatis vario
flore coronatus
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
Sors immanis et inanis
Veni veni venias
Ne me mori facias.
Ne Me Mori Facias!
^~Kai