Happy Birthday, frostdemn!

For your present, here's today's Forgotten English!

tetricitie
The sourenesse of the countenance.

--Henry Cockeram's Interpreter of Hard English Words, 1623

On this date in 1841,
the Anti-Teetotaler Society launched its newsletter, the Anti-Teetotaler, as part of a campaign to counter arguments against drinking made by the temperance movement. Two centuries earlier, physician Tobias Venner's Via Recta: The Right Way of Living (1650) offered this extensive list of wine's salubrious qualities: "Many and singular are the commodities of wine, for it is of itselfe the most pleasant liquor of all other, and was made from the beginning to exhilerate the heart of man. It is a great increaser of the vitall spirits and a wonderfull restorer of all powers and actions of the body. It very greatly comforteth a weak stomack, helpeth concoction, distribution, and nutrition, mightily strengtheneth the naturall heat, openeth obstructions, discusseth [dispels] windiness, taketh away sadnesse and other hurts of melancholy, induceth boldnesse and pleasant behavior, sharpeneth the wit, abundantly reviveth feeble spirits, excellently amendeth the coldnesse of old age, and correcteth the tetrick [see above] qualities which that age is subject unto. And to speake all in a word, it maketh a man more courageous and lively both in mind and body."

Of course, the problem with 1650's medicine is that, like 1650's spelling and grammar, they made it all up as they went along.

Do you suppose "Hard English" is the sort practised by Lynne Truss and Karen Elizabeth Gordon?

-The Gneeche

Fictionlet

Brigid took off her headphones and looked up at Wayne. "Yes?" she said.

"Hey, Brigid, sorry to disturb you while you're busy, but Janeen told me to bring these pages to you."

"Thanks," she said, taking the folder, and Wayne popped off. After waiting a moment to make sure nobody else was going to appear at her desk, Brigid put her headphones back on.

Immediately, Janeen was lurking over her. Brigid took off her headphones and looked up. "Yes?"

"Did Wayne get those pages to you?" Janeen asked.

"Yup, they're right here."

"Thanks." Janeen popped off. After waiting a moment to make sure nobody else was going to appear at her desk, Brigid put her headphones back on.

Immediately, Chris was lurking over her. Brigid stifled a sigh and looked up. "Yes?"

"Hey, Brigid, sorry to disturb you while you're busy. Do you have those pages from Janeen? We need to change the rate table."

"Sure, here," said Brigid, and handed Chris the folder.

"Thanks," he said, and popped off. Brigid watched him go, looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and put her headphones back on.

Immediately, Janeen was lurking over her. Brigid squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, then took off her headphones and looked up. "Yes?"

"Did Chris get those pages from you?" Janeen asked. "We need to change the rate table."

"Yes," Brigid said. "Chris has them."

"Okay, thanks," Janeen said, and popped off. Brigid stood up and looked around -- nobody was visible in either direction, so she sat back down and put on her headphones.

Immediately, Wayne was lurking over her. Brigid yanked off her headphones. "What?" she demanded.

"Whoa, sorry Brigid, didn't mean to bother you. I just have those pages back from Janeen with the new rate table. Here you go." He quickly handed off the folder and popped off.

Brigid looked down at the blinking cursor on her computer, then at the headphones. Cautiously, she reached for them and began to move them towards her head, watching carefully out the corner of her eye.

As she suspected, the half-visible spectre of Janeen was flickering in and out of existence. "I see you there!" Brigid told the vision sharply. "Well now you hear me! I'm just going to hold these headphones right here, halfway on and halfway off, even if it means typing with one hand for the rest of the day! You can just hover there, like Schrödinger's Manager!"

Janeen's ghost howled the cry of the damned; Brigid's heart quailed, but she held her ground. By the end of the day, she'd got more work done with one hand, than she had the rest of the month combined.

-The Gneech

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"Star Trek Remastered" Trailer

Now with actual footage! (Note: the new effects footage is at the end; the stuff at the beginning is original prints.)

It does look nice, I must say...

( EDIT: Best screenshots I could get... )

-The Gneech