The Morning /~* Star -- Looks Like News, Tastes Like Chicken

UNION OF SECRET AGENTS VOTES 16-12 TO STRIKE LIKE THUNDERBALL

END OF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME MAKES LIFE FINALLY NOT SUCK FOR A WHILE

ISSUE OF THE MORNING STAR MADE UP ENTIRELY OF HEADLINES WITHOUT STORIES

AREA MAN MAKES OBSCURE LIVEJOURNAL POST BASED ON 'ZINE HE DID AGES AGO

SYM SKIMMER'S HOUSE OF BLOGGERY (advertisement)

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

CLASSIFIEDS

Jenny's Earrings

I just noticed that Jenny is wearing earrings -- I guess girls DO mature faster than boys do!

-The Gneech