the_gneech | Dis - Integration

Is it possible for a mind to tear itself apart?

Must Draw < -- > Don't Want to Draw
Must Write < -- > But Must Draw
Must Work < -- > Want to Stay Home
Must Sleep < -- > Hate Sleep
New Job < -- > Pays Less Than Half of Graphics
Hate Graphics < -- > Have No Other Paying Skills
Searching for Graphics Job < -- > There Are None
Requirements of Monogamy < -- > Desire for Polyamory
Desire to Read < -- > Have No Time
Need Exercise < -- > Exhausted From Lack of Sleep

I'm running around in circles. I've been running around in circles for a long time. I need something to break the cycle; I can't stand up to the strain.

My brother was roughly twenty-five when he was overwhelmed by his schizophrenia; he was in his mid- to late-thirties when he finally overcame it, and he's been dealing with the fallout ever since. I was thirty when my mind started to shake itself apart ... am I going to be fighting this for the next eight years of MY life?

I am a mess. :P

-The Gneech