the_gneech: (Default)
My best self.

As I write this, I’m sitting at the drawing table pictured, wearing the headphones and necklace pictured. The rest is a bit harder to pull off. >.>

So! How was 2018? On the grand social scale, of course, it was a dumpster fire. This is hardly news. All the worst people, frantically trying to destroy not just the USA but the whole world, before it all comes crashing down and they end up shooting themselves in the bunker. It’s as inevitable as it is sad. But those of us who are working to build something better will keep working.

On my own personal front, by comparison, it’s been what you might call a challenging year– not in a drama and angsty way, but in the form of taking on difficult obstacles and working to overcome them. This came mostly through the coach training, which was a deep dive into 49 years of mud and gunk that needed cleaning out, but was also singularly more effective than decades of counseling had been on that front. (Which is not to bag on my counselors over the years, but they just didn’t have the intensive focus of the coach training.)

So, looking back on my plans for the year, how did I do?

  1. Gneech, Life Coach. This is up and running! I have passed my exams with Accomplishment Coaching and I’m about 2/3 of the way to my first ICF certification. Right now I’m working on fluffing up my client base a bit more, and I expect to go on to become a Mentor Coach for next year’s program. I’ve got a coaching blog up and running, and I’m looking forward to big things on this front in 2019.

  2. Help Laurie Get Her Business Running. Well, I did help! She’s still working on it. >.> The business exists, we’re getting our insurance through it, so that’s good! The rest of it is up to her. 🙂

  3. Stable and Reliable Income. This piece is still under construction. As the coaching business grows, it will naturally come to pass.

  4. Figure Out What’s Up With My Writing. Honestly, I just didn’t have time to work on this with the coach training going on. I have a project in place to take this on again in 2019.

  5. Sell. A. Book. Didn’t happen, ‘cos above.

  6. Issues Seven, Eight, and Nine. Seven done. Eight 1/2 way done. Nine will have to come next year.

  7. Continue Fixing the Country. I’ve marched, I’ve voted, I’ve campaigned, I’ve called my reps a million times. It’s an ongoing process.

  8. Take a Vacation. Alas, did not happen.

It essentially boils down to “the coach training was huge and intense and took most of my mental energy.” So a lot of other things didn’t get done while that was happening. I have no regrets, though– this was something I badly needed.

What did happen was that for the first time since I can remember, I really and truly became friends with myself– like, all of myself, even the parts I had not been willing to talk to since I was four. There was a specific moment that I had never forgiven myself or let go of the pain and shame from, which I confronted and processed… finally. Only forty-five years later! But better late than never.

Confronting this moment led to the birth of Nii-chan, about whom I’ve written at length elsewhere. In a lot of ways, she is the best version of me, and whenever I find myself wondering what I want to do about something, or who I should be in a moment, I ask myself “What would Nii-chan do?” She’s like the integrated version of the Three Lions and an Otter, but even her version of Business Guy is a lot happier. (Nii-chan is also practice for my next incarnation, so I can hit the planet running when that comes to pass. I don’t want to waste forty years of my next life trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.)

So, yeah. It’s been a big year on that score. But where do I want to go in 2019?

  1. Bring Rough Housing to Its Conclusion. 2019 will be the 20th anniversary of Suburban Jungle, and it seems a fitting place to bring that chapter to a close. My current plan is to finish the story at the end of issue ten. As my hand tremors get worse, it is becoming harder to keep up with what was already an ambitious production schedule, and honestly, I think that story-wise, RH will be done at that point. So I’d rather finish something and feel good about it, than to drag it out to stay within the familiar.

  2. Writing Goals. My goalposts on this front are two short stories sold, an agent secured for Sky Pirates of Calypsitania, a furry novel written for NaNoWriMo, and an anthology project created with FurPlanet.

  3. She-Ra Writing Gig. Seeing Seanan McGuire geek out about landing the writing job on Spider-Gwen made me realize that I wanted that experience in my life. Spider-Gwen is a character that Seanan was pretty much born to write, and honestly, I feel the same about Catra and myself. I have no idea how I’m going to convince the She-Ra writing team to let me on board, but I’ll find a way.

  4. Full Coaching Client Roster. My goal is 14+ clients by this time next year, including five Creativity Klatch clients and three Mentor Coaching clients.

  5. California Trip. I miss Big Sur like whoa.

  6. 222 Pounds. Something that wasn’t on my 2018 list was losing weight– so naturally I made big strides on that! XD Specifically I lost 30 pounds since May, bringing me to my lowest adult weight yet. I have another 50 pounds to go to be at my goal weight of 222, but I am confident that I will hit it this year.

  7. Continue Continuing to Fix the Country. Keep going ’til it doesn’t suck.

So, yeah. That’s where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. I think 2019 is gonna be a great year. 🙂

the_gneech: (Default)
First off, hello Dreamwidth! Sorry I haven't had a lot of bloggy stuff to say lately. I've been diving deep into stuff that doesn't really translate well into words, and all of my blogging/writing/creative output has been on hold. Thus, all I've had to post really has been the weekly weigh-ins... but I have a lot to actually say about that today. :)

Starting Weight (May 30, 2017): 305
Goal: 222 by April 26
Current: 294 (9 weeks)
Weekly Target Rate: 2 lbs
Weekly Average: 1.2 lbs
Starting Waistline (Aug 1, 2018): 54"
Current: 54" (0 weeks)
Goal: 32" by April 26
Weekly Target Rate: 0.6"
Weekly Average: 0"
BP: 132/89

For the first time since I don't remember when, I hit the target rate of 2 lbs this week. :) So I'm pretty jazzed about that. What made the difference?

1) Protein shake breakfast. The stuff I use is called "Amazing Grass," which is a ridiculous name, but it's a great breakfast shake. It uses Stevia as the sweetener, and when mixed with 3/4 cup coffee concentrate (I use Chameleon Mocha) and 3/4 cup skim milk, is nicely filling. Supplemented with a banana, this is a 198 calorie breakfast. Once upon a time I used to feel like I got 200 calories just by breathing for an hour. >.>

2) Moving to a more plant-based diet. This doesn't mean iceberg lettuce and a couple of tomatoes. >.> I've been trying a lot of different salads, ramen/noodle bowl options, and things like chicken tacos piled with grilled veggies, and found lots of ways to make them both tasty and filling. Guacamole and hummus are both great secret ingredients, once I found some guacamole that actually had a flavor other than "green mayonnaise." ;P Ramen still has lots of carbs relative to other choices here, but since I'm not scarfing down muffins, Oreos, and Reese's cups the way I used to, I've got room in the diet for that.

3) Having a positive vision I'm moving toward. This one is simultaneously more abstract, AND more gut-based. For years my goal has been "I want to not be fat/overweight," which is coming from a negative place. Over the past few weeks, I have instead been working on a vision of the self I want to be, rather than coming from a place where I want to escape where I am. This is some Law of Attraction 101 stuff– which is very simple, but is not necessarily easy. What you focus on, you make more of, and the more I sat around thinking "I don't want to be overweight and stuck," the more the Universe heard "overweight and stuck" and said "Right, order received." But over the past month or so, I have finally created and locked in my new focus, which is a new vision of myself expressed largely through Nii-chan. She's slim and perky and cute, and I am going to be slim and perky and cute too. ^///^ So that's the intention I'm putting into the Universe now. :)

In a lot of ways, the positive vision has been the most important piece, because it's changed my relationship to the whole process, and changed my whole being around it. This new, improved version of me that Nii-chan represents doesn't struggle with exercise, she does it because it's fun and makes her happy. This new, improved version of me that Nii-chan represents doesn't grumblingly eat a salad instead of buffalo wings and fries, she's just not interested in the buffalo wings because they don't serve her. There's no "willpower" or "discipline" involved; I am make better choices because those are the things that I actually want.

Weirdly, my big challenge now is actually to make sure I get enough calories. Earlier this week I had a very filling lunch salad based primarily on spinach, grilled chicken, and various beans that came to all of 285 calories. My total intake that day was 1,588 calories (including a fried shrimp and chips dinner), and I was neither hungry nor craving anything.

1,588 calories? *points to self* THIS GUY?

Yes. Something has definitely changed. :) And I can't wait to see the results!

-The Gneech

PS: In case you don't know, Nii-chan is the other me up in the icon. I have lots to say about her, but I am still processing it all. When I get back into bloggy mode, I'm sure she'll be one or several of the topics. :)

April 2019

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