i've used it all up

[the_gneech]

EDIT: The following is the sort of thing my mind goes through during one of my mood crashes; writing it was therapeutic for me at the time, I figure reading it might be so for someone else.

i've used it all up
there is no more there
it just doesn't matter
i just don't care

it never ends
there's always more
what was once a joy
is now a chore

i pushed the stone
to the top of the hill
it just rolled back down
it just makes me ill

i struggled and fought
and i planned and then
after all that effort
i'm back here again

i feel as if
i'm under a curse
i try to improve things
and it makes them worse

but i take a deep breath
and i ride it through
and i wait it out
and i start out new

because i've often observed
watching various lives
that often he who wins
is the one who survives

so i keep on going
i don't have to care
i just have to continue
and hope that time will repair

Comments

*hug* *hug* *hug*

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

*broad hug*

You have granted so much joy to so many lives, Gneech. Your comics have made me smile so many times. You've given us laughter, and brought many personalities into our lives.

If I could give some of my slack to you, I would.

You deserve more than just surviving, and hoping that time will repair. You've given the world a lot, and I hope that the gift will come back to you with interest.

Re: *hug* *hug* *hug*

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I should have put some context on there, but it was late and I wasn't thinking. This poem is, more than anything, a description of what got me through the worst of my depression, and to a lesser degree what I go through to get myself through a mood crash. I am actually doing very well compared to this time last year for instance.

The hugs are always welcome, tho. :) *hughughug* -TG