What Was I Saying...?

Donut: It's what for breakfast.

Add the caffeine-and-sugar cocktail of a bottled mocha frappuccino (microwaved for 2 minutes = perfect hot cup of coffee), and you've got a Gneech who can pass as being alive at this time of morning!

...for about forty minutes, anyway. Expect me to pass out at my desk just before lunch. Thud.

Koyaanisqatsi, man. Koyaanisqatsi.

-The Gneech

After however many years of fire drills, we had an Actual Real Fire this time. The ground floor of the building is now flooded and the fire engines are packing up to leave.

As one of the company's "Deputy Fire Marshals," it's my job to go around kicking everybody out. During a drill, this is like pulling teeth; everyone wants to stay on the phone or keep typing away. But as soon as I say the magic words "Real fire, let's go!" people turn very pale and jump like jackalopes.

It's also my job to stay with anybody who can't get out for whatever reason (such as being wheelchair bound) and make sure the emergency guys get to us. Fortunately, a) nobody had this problem today, and b) the fire was very small and completely out by the time the suite was evacuated anyway. But we do have at least one person who physically cannot take the stairs, so if they had been in today, I would have had to attend to them.

Civic duty: I does mine.

-The Gneech

Social/religious (sorta) post here; scroll on by if you'd like to avoid the topic.

This morning in The Washington Post, I happened upon a four-column advertisement which had a picture of some guy in a Santa hat with a sort of cartoon shrug on his face, and the caption read:

"WHY BELIEVE IN A GOD?
Why not be good FOR GOODNESS SAKE?"

The ad was placed by the "American Humanist Association," apparently for the purpose of proselytizing the cause of secular humanism. A little digging around on the internet reveals that this is part of a larger ad campaign that cost something along the lines of $40,000 and includes signs on buses, ads in other major national papers, and so on.

Well ... um ... okay. But I have to ask, "What's the point?"

I mean, I'm pretty much a secular humanist myself [1]; but as such, it's no skin off my nose if people believe in God or not. Is it really worth spending $40k dissing God? Particularly when that $40k could house and feed, say, families displaced by catastrophe, or possibly refugees fleeing from violence in far too many parts of the world?

Seriously, American Humanist Association, where are your priorities? I'm used to the forces of Big Christianity [2] driving around in limos while they cry about the starving children in Africa and blame (gays/liberals/foreigners/etc.) for everything bad that happens ... the last thing we need now is Big Atheism. :P

-The Gneech

[1] I do have religious beliefs of a sort, but my philosophical standpoint is that there's no way I can know whether they're actually true or not without dying, so they don't provide much of a foundation for moral or ethical behavior. That has to come from intelligence guided by experience (as Rex Stout would say).

[2] Fortunately, the era of the televangelist seems to have run its course. But for somebody who grew up in Jerry Falwell's home state, the bad taste will always linger.

Ya ever have the feeling it was gonna be one of those days?

-The Gneech

This meme's been going around for a bit; I presume it was prompted by California's infamous "prop 8," but hey, it applies everywhere else...

"Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by those who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow."

Other than forcing me to buy more toasters, I can't imagine how gay marriage could possibly hurt me.

-The Gneech

Bad news: Christians pray to a golden bull for prosperity. Good grief, people, Heston's only been dead six months, did you forget already? *ker-SMITE!*

Worse news: David Tennant officially stepping down as the Doctor. Feh, you're all wimps! Tom Baker did it for seven years!

-The Gneech

(Based on "Virus Alert" by Weird Al Yankovic)

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
Really want to give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
'Bout a dangerous, insidious presidential candidate
If you should see a candidate with the message: "Hope" or "Change"
Better not go taking your chances
Under no circumstances
Should you vote for him or else he will
Impose a four hundred percent tax rate
Make everybody use wax plates
Neuter your pets and give your laundry static cling

(Look out!) He's more liberal than Marx
(Look out!) He wants to put some lasers on sharks
(Look out!) Take all your money and your handguns too
And burn the flag of anyone related to you

Obama alert!
Donate to Republicans before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody

Soon, very soon, he will make all the paint peel off your walls
His campaign tactics are tricky
He'll give your poodle a hickey
And drop Iraq like it was a very hot potato
Then he will tie up your phone making prank long distance calls
He'll set your clocks back an hour
And start hogging the shower
So just vote McCain now, or else Obama will
decide to give you a permanent wedgie
legally change your name to Reggie
even mess up the pH balance in your pool

(Look out!) He's a Muslim extremist in a clever disguise
(Look out!) You can tell by the shift in his eyes
(Look out!) He'll lecture you while you're tryin' to sleep
(Look out!) And make you physically attracted to sheep
(Look out!) Steal your identity and your credit cards
(Look out!) Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards
(Look out!) Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right, it's an...

Obama alert!
Donate to Republicans before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Obama alert!
Donate to Republicans before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

If he's elected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before he makes TV networks only show porn...

Send us all your money, you'll be better of that way
Did we mention that he thinks everybody should be gay?
Give Republicans the White House and the Senate too
'cause you know that only Democrats would ever lie to you

Obama alert!
Donate to Republicans before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Obama alert!
Donate to Republicans before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Obama alert!
Donate to Republicans before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know
Hit... send... right... now!

-The Gneech

...your moment of zen.

-The Gneech, courtesy of gamera_spinning

Oy vey, what a week. Even today, in an effort to extend the suck just a little more, the CFH [1] decided at 2:30 to make programmatic changes to their site — "Oh, and we'd really like it to go up today."

Between the database gal and myself, we managed to get it done in a fraction of the reasonable time and get out of there, but my boss (who had wanted to go home and relax a bit before his upcoming birthday) ended up stuck there having yet another meeting about it all, and he may still be there for all I know.

No way to run a railroad.

But! That's all over now, and it's officially a long weekend! A long weekend, I might add, with no plans to go anywhere I don't want to go, do anything I don't want to do, work on anything I don't want to work on, or anything else of the sort! Three blissful days of FREEDOM, that rarest of opportunities!

Which is not to say that I'm not going to go places, do things, or work on anything. As a matter of fact, I intend to do some art tonight and spend the weekend trying to get out from under various things that have piled up. But I'm going to take it all at my own pace, work when I feel like it, quit when I feel like it, and goof off totally guilt-free if the mood strikes me.

I need it!

And hopefully, by the end of it, I'll be rested, recharged, and back in good form again. :)

-The Gneech

[1] Client From Hell

Well, the project isn't finished but we do at least have a working model. A thirteen-hour day today, and the promise of more of the same tomorrow.

Oy vey. At least I'll build up some comp time, hopefully! G'nite world. *faceplant*

-The Gneech